Help me to see Your Hand, when I can not hear Your Voice.

I am not satisfied.

God and Life keeps saying there is more to this life I have been living.

They are right.

The more free I get, the more I want to experience LIFE. ALL of it.

The good days and the tough days.

The awesome moments and the rough moments.

I want to give myself away.

I want to receive:

From, God.

From, Life.

From, my fellow man.

From, my family.

From, my friends.

Mostly, from, me.

I want to receive:

Love:

Spiritual.

Emotional.

Familial.

Collegial.

Sexual.

I long to have:

A home, on the ocean.

Financial Freedom.

A year’s sabbatical where I do nothing but write, write, write, write, hang out with God and Life, on my ocean home, due to my financial freedom….*sigh*.

I would love all of these things, and a few more, immediately, right now, tomorrow.

There are things I have prayed for, asked for, waited for, longed for, needed.

Prayed and prayed.

Silence.

Rinse.

Repeat.

It is during those times, these current times, times where I can not hear Dad’s Voice, God’s Voice, Life’s Voice, that I ask “Help me to see Your Hand, when I can not hear Your Voice.”

God and Life are NOT being mean, when They are silent. They ARE working, intently, FOR our good. For, your good. For, my good. Yet, waiting can get awfully hard, can’t it? God’s Silence. Life’s Silence, can feel terrifying close to indifference. Indifference, in turns, then can lead us to feelings of being ‘not enough’. Not enough to be tended to, listened to, ministered to.

It’s important to know the silence is just that. Silence. The work is STILL being done. For, you. For, me.

We just have to hold on, in the meantime. To, His CHARACTER. To, His Deep and Abiding Love. For, you. For, me.

Surely, I am not the only one, in need of a bit of encouragement, Father. Help me, to see Your Hand, when I can not hear Your Voice. Help others, to see Your Hand, when they can not hear Your Voice. Give us grace, to face these silent moments. Give us wisdom, to KNOW our words, tears, heartfelt pleas/asks/questions/frustrations/sadnesses have ALL been heard. Amen.

Life is short, beloveds. Don’t allow the silence to get you down. His Love speaks loudly. Listen. Hear.

Be encouraged. As, ever shall I be.

His and yours,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Knowing the why, helps you do the what.

I am a question asker. I work God and Life’s nerves forever asking…

“Why does this do this?”

“Why did that do THAT!?!”

My bro, bless his heart, sent me a Mini Google, and I now spend ENDLESS hours, asking Ok Google THE most ridiculous questions in the wide world. That, and making her endlessly turn lights on and off, the warmer on and off, make her play me songs, movies, on and on. Trust, I could spend another post yakking about my Google Mini….hmm…..*Cassandra makes mental note to post and yak endlessly about her Google Mini*

“Okay, Google. Remind me to remind myself to make a post yakking about you”….*shrug*….don’t judge me!

Oh, yes, I was going on about asking in order to find out the why of the thing. And, yes, I am back to playing with my commas. Someone posted, recently, about writing etiquette and some such. Which now has me being a rebel and putting commas where the hooey I want to put them. :). Kidding, kind of, yall. I shall be kind and allow you to breathe by putting in some commas, here, and there…whew……

In my new position, there are many, many, many things I have to do. So, when they trained us….well, they needed folks, in a hurry, so really didn’t train us in the ‘why’ of what we needed to do. Just the mandate to DO and figure out the why, later.

This led to soooooooooooooooooooooooo much frustration, for me, I put my foot down and advised this was a deal breaker. I need to know the ‘why’ in order to do the ‘what’ well. After a meeting, of the minds, I was redirected to get to the ‘why’ and wherefore of my new position. Whew!!

Lately, I have been pondering on, marinating in, reflecting about, mooning over, WHY, I want the things I want. WHY, I do the things I do. WHY, I long for this. WHY, I daydream about that. It has been:

Necessary.

Discomfiting.

Disconcerting.

Awe-inspiring.

Scary.

Intriguing.

Exciting.

Embarrassing.

Frustrating.

Annoying.

Plus a million other ‘ings, figuring out my WHYs. I highly recommend folk trying this. You may be surprised at what you find out.

Why?

For you to find out….lol….*Cassandra thought this last why was really clever, on her part*…..why? Just cuz…. 🙂

Long story, short? LIfe is so very much easier when one knows why one is doing something. Otherwise, it is much too easy to get swept up and away doing other folks ‘why’. Best to be about doing your own, don’t you think?

For many years, I did the ‘why’ of the world, the ‘why’ of my parents, the ‘why’ of my job. The ‘why’ of…heckamiah I did the ‘why’ of God only knows who/why!?

It feels awfully good to be FREE, to be FULL.

Free, to chase my own ‘why’.

Full, to give of myself in order to help one or two or ten find their way to his/her/their ‘why’.

Why?

Cuz, I love you.

Keep going, beloveds.

We got this.

God and Life has us all.

In His Care and by His Strength,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Do you on YOU!

I love helping folk. Doing for them. Encouraging them. Trying my best to help make their way straight, their day easier, their life just a bit better, if I can.

I spare no expense, think countless hours and efforts are worth it, if it will be of service or help.

Yet, I have found, I don’t, or didn’t, give myself that same effort, care, grace, etcetera that I enthusiastically gave to others.

I put myself last. Rather, put myself in the ‘will get to it’s pile. Only, my turn just never seemed to get to BE my turn.

I had someone else to help. Work took up too much effort and time. Someone else needed the thing more.

Rinse.

Repeat.

Years turned into decades. God and Life would keep reminding me that, um, these years are, in fact, turning into, well, decades, beloved.

God and Life would suggest, ask, encourage me what to do and how to do. For me.

“I will get to it. I will get to me. I will get to Your Will. I just have things I want to DO for You, first.”

I had not the first clue, how I would magically do these masterful things for God and Life. Figured I would figure things out. When I got around to getting around to doing for ME.

Rinse.

Repeat.

*sigh*🤷‍♀️

I can’t tell you what finally made me decide to decide to give ME that same effort, that same care, that same love.

I can tell you why, though. It was The Relentless Love of God, of Dad, for ME. Yes, He said, He loved me loving on folk, helping folk, encouraging folk. He just needed me to start loving on me more, better, relentlessly pursuing me, doing me on me!

It took a while. Still learning how, to be honest.

I am giving ME equal time now. So, I can keep going. In order to keep growing. So, I can continue to keep showing others how to BE, how to LOVE, how to LIVE.

How?

By:

BEing.

LIVEing.

LOVEing:

God.

Life.

You.

Me.

While you are also being, living, and loving, be sure to do you on YOU. Give yourself that same level and care you generously, graciously, relentlessly give to the world.

I am free.

I am full.

I am unapologetically, His.

I remain unapologetically, yours.

I love you, beloveds.

Here,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

  • Tell, someone.
    Tell, someone. Tell, someone, they are: Loved. Needed. Required. Let, someone. Let, someone: In. Love, you. Give, someone. Give, someone: You. Let them, give, to you. Show, someone. Show, someone: Your, heart. Let them, show their heart, too. Love, someone. Love, someone: Beginning, with you. Extend that love, to another. Allow another, to extend that … Continue reading Tell, someone.
  • Why Can’t I BE Loud?: I hide my heart, no more.
    Today, I rejoice. Fully, present. Fully, LIVEing. Fully, here. Fully, invested: In, life. In, love. In, me. In, God. In, Life. In, others. It feels good. To, be. Just to be, ME! Never, again, allowing circumstances, situations, others, other’s expectations, or lack thereof, to: Define, me. Own, me. Silence, me. Frighten, me. Defeat, me. Dismiss, … Continue reading Why Can’t I BE Loud?: I hide my heart, no more.
  • Jesus, here You stay.
    Jesus, here, You stay. Here, with me, You remain. Where ever I find me, I find You, there, too. No matter, where, You are there. I love You, Jesus. For, You have NO shame, when it comes, to me. To, seeking me. To, finding me. Where EVER, I go, there, You are willing to go, … Continue reading Jesus, here You stay.
  • He plays with ME. Wow.
    God plays. With me. With ME! Wow!! I am a different breed of cat, as they say. I enjoy goofhead things. I ENJOY being a goofhead. Most folk, though, either are too uncomfortable, too annoyed, or too something or other to allow me to, well, just be my goofhead side. I need to BE, her, … Continue reading He plays with ME. Wow.
  • Real talk: Play.
    It may, or may NOT be true, depending on who you listen to, or who be snitching, that I am sitting here, in my undies, drinking coffee, blasting Hillsong’s ‘Through it All’, in semi darkness, bathed only in the glow of my candle warmer…..*shiver*….awesome!! My heart woke me. She wanted, to play. No, she NEEDED, … Continue reading Real talk: Play.
  • Alone: A shepherd.
    Am feeling alone, today. Not, lonely. Just, alone. A sheperd. Helping God and Life to gently usher the little ones, back to the rest of the herd, where there is safety. Jesus loves all. Yet, His Greatest Concern, is for the stragglers, the lost sheep, those who stray a bit, from the safety the other … Continue reading Alone: A shepherd.
  • You Are Amazing!
    YOU ARE AMAZING! The things that we suffer with and from have a way of obscuring this one immutable certainty: You are amazing! Now, you may not be feeling particularly amazing at this particular moment in time (particularly if you are a person who views the glass as being half-empty and you may be struggling … Continue reading You Are Amazing!
  • You don’t make a difference, you ARE the difference!
    Go! Now! Be! Do! YOU! ‘Nuff said. Time is short, beloveds. This world NEEDS who and what you are. Be: You. For: Him. Me. You. Everyone. Unapologetically. Relentlessly. Tirelessly. Love SHALL win, in the end. Be, a light. With, The Light. Forever His and yours, I am. #YourLifeMattersToMe
  • Who, am I?
    I asked God: Who, am I? God said: You, are loved. You, are Mine. I asked God: Whose, am I? God said: You, are loved. You, are Mine. And, I am Yours. I asked God: Why, am I? God said: Because, I AM. You, are. I, said I!? Yes, said He!! I am. I am!! … Continue reading Who, am I?
  • You are amazing.
    You are amazing. Yea, YOU. If your eyes have landed, on this page, I was talking to you. 😎 Nope, you didn’t have to DO anything. Why are you amazing, you ask? The fact you may even HAVE to ask makes me sad. I used to wonder the same thing, about me. Used to beat … Continue reading You are amazing.
  • Help me to see Your Hand, when I can not hear Your Voice.
    I am not satisfied. God and Life keeps saying there is more to this life I have been living. They are right. The more free I get, the more I want to experience LIFE. ALL of it. The good days and the tough days. The awesome moments and the rough moments. I want to give … Continue reading Help me to see Your Hand, when I can not hear Your Voice.
  • Knowing the why, helps you do the what.
    I am a question asker. I work God and Life’s nerves forever asking… “Why does this do this?” “Why did that do THAT!?!” My bro, bless his heart, sent me a Mini Google, and I now spend ENDLESS hours, asking Ok Google THE most ridiculous questions in the wide world. That, and making her endlessly … Continue reading Knowing the why, helps you do the what.

Full.

Full.

I have never been so full, by being emptied, thereby being empty.

In being empty, I am now full.

Full.

Now able.

To:

Fill, others.

Refill, me.

Again.

Full.

Complete.

Lacking nothing, having received all, after emptying all.

To:

Him.

For:

Me.

You.

The world.

Full.

Free.

I shall now ALWAYS be.

His and yours,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

  • Tell, someone.
    Tell, someone. Tell, someone, they are: Loved. Needed. Required. Let, someone. Let, someone: In. Love, you. Give, someone. Give, someone: You. Let them, give, to you. Show, someone. Show, someone: Your, heart. Let them, show their heart, too. Love, someone. Love, someone: Beginning, with you. Extend that love, to another. Allow another, to extend that … Continue reading Tell, someone.
  • Why Can’t I BE Loud?: I hide my heart, no more.
    Today, I rejoice. Fully, present. Fully, LIVEing. Fully, here. Fully, invested: In, life. In, love. In, me. In, God. In, Life. In, others. It feels good. To, be. Just to be, ME! Never, again, allowing circumstances, situations, others, other’s expectations, or lack thereof, to: Define, me. Own, me. Silence, me. Frighten, me. Defeat, me. Dismiss, … Continue reading Why Can’t I BE Loud?: I hide my heart, no more.
  • Jesus, here You stay.
    Jesus, here, You stay. Here, with me, You remain. Where ever I find me, I find You, there, too. No matter, where, You are there. I love You, Jesus. For, You have NO shame, when it comes, to me. To, seeking me. To, finding me. Where EVER, I go, there, You are willing to go, … Continue reading Jesus, here You stay.
  • He plays with ME. Wow.
    God plays. With me. With ME! Wow!! I am a different breed of cat, as they say. I enjoy goofhead things. I ENJOY being a goofhead. Most folk, though, either are too uncomfortable, too annoyed, or too something or other to allow me to, well, just be my goofhead side. I need to BE, her, … Continue reading He plays with ME. Wow.
  • Real talk: Play.
    It may, or may NOT be true, depending on who you listen to, or who be snitching, that I am sitting here, in my undies, drinking coffee, blasting Hillsong’s ‘Through it All’, in semi darkness, bathed only in the glow of my candle warmer…..*shiver*….awesome!! My heart woke me. She wanted, to play. No, she NEEDED, … Continue reading Real talk: Play.
  • Alone: A shepherd.
    Am feeling alone, today. Not, lonely. Just, alone. A sheperd. Helping God and Life to gently usher the little ones, back to the rest of the herd, where there is safety. Jesus loves all. Yet, His Greatest Concern, is for the stragglers, the lost sheep, those who stray a bit, from the safety the other … Continue reading Alone: A shepherd.
  • You Are Amazing!
    YOU ARE AMAZING! The things that we suffer with and from have a way of obscuring this one immutable certainty: You are amazing! Now, you may not be feeling particularly amazing at this particular moment in time (particularly if you are a person who views the glass as being half-empty and you may be struggling … Continue reading You Are Amazing!
  • You don’t make a difference, you ARE the difference!
    Go! Now! Be! Do! YOU! ‘Nuff said. Time is short, beloveds. This world NEEDS who and what you are. Be: You. For: Him. Me. You. Everyone. Unapologetically. Relentlessly. Tirelessly. Love SHALL win, in the end. Be, a light. With, The Light. Forever His and yours, I am. #YourLifeMattersToMe
  • Who, am I?
    I asked God: Who, am I? God said: You, are loved. You, are Mine. I asked God: Whose, am I? God said: You, are loved. You, are Mine. And, I am Yours. I asked God: Why, am I? God said: Because, I AM. You, are. I, said I!? Yes, said He!! I am. I am!! … Continue reading Who, am I?
  • You are amazing.
    You are amazing. Yea, YOU. If your eyes have landed, on this page, I was talking to you. 😎 Nope, you didn’t have to DO anything. Why are you amazing, you ask? The fact you may even HAVE to ask makes me sad. I used to wonder the same thing, about me. Used to beat … Continue reading You are amazing.
  • Help me to see Your Hand, when I can not hear Your Voice.
    I am not satisfied. God and Life keeps saying there is more to this life I have been living. They are right. The more free I get, the more I want to experience LIFE. ALL of it. The good days and the tough days. The awesome moments and the rough moments. I want to give … Continue reading Help me to see Your Hand, when I can not hear Your Voice.

Free.

Free.

No longer, chasing something.

No longer, being chased, by something.

I am free.

From:

Expectation.

Yours.

Mine.

The world’s.

Free.

No longer, pursuing, something.

No longer, being pursued, by something.

I am free.

From:

Fear.

Yours.

Mine.

The world’s.

Free.

I am ready.

To run:

To something.

Not, away from something.

Free.

I am steady.

Strong.

Sure.

Certain.

I am able.

Capable.

Stable.

I will:

Move:

Mountains.

You.

Me.

The world.

Here.

Today.

In this place.

I stand.

Whole.

Humbled.

Free.

His and yours,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

  • Tell, someone.
    Tell, someone. Tell, someone, they are: Loved. Needed. Required. Let, someone. Let, someone: In. Love, you. Give, someone. Give, someone: You. Let them, give, to you. Show, someone. Show, someone: Your, heart. Let them, show their heart, too. Love, someone. Love, someone: Beginning, with you. Extend that love, to another. Allow another, to extend that … Continue reading Tell, someone.
  • Why Can’t I BE Loud?: I hide my heart, no more.
    Today, I rejoice. Fully, present. Fully, LIVEing. Fully, here. Fully, invested: In, life. In, love. In, me. In, God. In, Life. In, others. It feels good. To, be. Just to be, ME! Never, again, allowing circumstances, situations, others, other’s expectations, or lack thereof, to: Define, me. Own, me. Silence, me. Frighten, me. Defeat, me. Dismiss, … Continue reading Why Can’t I BE Loud?: I hide my heart, no more.
  • Jesus, here You stay.
    Jesus, here, You stay. Here, with me, You remain. Where ever I find me, I find You, there, too. No matter, where, You are there. I love You, Jesus. For, You have NO shame, when it comes, to me. To, seeking me. To, finding me. Where EVER, I go, there, You are willing to go, … Continue reading Jesus, here You stay.
  • He plays with ME. Wow.
    God plays. With me. With ME! Wow!! I am a different breed of cat, as they say. I enjoy goofhead things. I ENJOY being a goofhead. Most folk, though, either are too uncomfortable, too annoyed, or too something or other to allow me to, well, just be my goofhead side. I need to BE, her, … Continue reading He plays with ME. Wow.
  • Real talk: Play.
    It may, or may NOT be true, depending on who you listen to, or who be snitching, that I am sitting here, in my undies, drinking coffee, blasting Hillsong’s ‘Through it All’, in semi darkness, bathed only in the glow of my candle warmer…..*shiver*….awesome!! My heart woke me. She wanted, to play. No, she NEEDED, … Continue reading Real talk: Play.
  • Alone: A shepherd.
    Am feeling alone, today. Not, lonely. Just, alone. A sheperd. Helping God and Life to gently usher the little ones, back to the rest of the herd, where there is safety. Jesus loves all. Yet, His Greatest Concern, is for the stragglers, the lost sheep, those who stray a bit, from the safety the other … Continue reading Alone: A shepherd.
  • You Are Amazing!
    YOU ARE AMAZING! The things that we suffer with and from have a way of obscuring this one immutable certainty: You are amazing! Now, you may not be feeling particularly amazing at this particular moment in time (particularly if you are a person who views the glass as being half-empty and you may be struggling … Continue reading You Are Amazing!
  • You don’t make a difference, you ARE the difference!
    Go! Now! Be! Do! YOU! ‘Nuff said. Time is short, beloveds. This world NEEDS who and what you are. Be: You. For: Him. Me. You. Everyone. Unapologetically. Relentlessly. Tirelessly. Love SHALL win, in the end. Be, a light. With, The Light. Forever His and yours, I am. #YourLifeMattersToMe
  • Who, am I?
    I asked God: Who, am I? God said: You, are loved. You, are Mine. I asked God: Whose, am I? God said: You, are loved. You, are Mine. And, I am Yours. I asked God: Why, am I? God said: Because, I AM. You, are. I, said I!? Yes, said He!! I am. I am!! … Continue reading Who, am I?

I left the lights on for you.

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=fiR18oC4eiI&feature=share

Life has been tough, beloveds. We have endured much.

We have received, seemingly, very little, in return.

We have cried, many a tear.

We have received, repeatedly, very little, in return.

We have given, our all.

We have received, undoubtedly, very little, in return.

We have lost, lots. Yet, lots more loss, was required.

We have recieved, admittedly, very little, in return.

Losing, crying, dying slowly, inside.

Faith, tested, bested, found wanting, instead.

‘Til defeated, depleted, we made the slow march, towards, home.

Not knowing, not showing, not growing, seemingly, failing, spectacularly, at this thing, called life.

Tired, so tired, of twists, of turns, of curves. We long for home, for stillness, for peace, for comfort to call our own.

Thinking, home waiting, in judgement, for us to come, our heads, downcast, we trudge ahead, with dread, of homes’ dark welcome, soon to bear.

Almost home, we see a glow, just beyond. Not hoping, scared hopeless, our downcast heads, too afraid to lift.

Breathlessly, hoping, the glow, might be meant for us, we gather our courage, lift our heads, bow them, again, in reverence, by what we see, up ahead.

There! Home! There, God and Life, waits for us. For, They have a feast prepared!

Lights, ablaze. Music, dancing, Their Open Arms, waiting for you, awaiting me!

Amazed, humbled, tired, hungry, we tumble, into Their Arms. The Loving Arms, of God, of Life, of Care. They fold us, tenderly, into Love that has ALWAYS been there.

Pulling us, into His Arms, God, Our Father said but one thing:

I left the lights on for you.

His and yours,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

P.S. I love you, beloveds. Be, encouraged. Be, at peace. You are not alone. He awaits your return. Come home. Lift your head and see care all about thee, beloveds.

  • Tell, someone.
    Tell, someone. Tell, someone, they are: Loved. Needed. Required. Let, someone. Let, someone: In. Love, you. Give, someone. Give, someone: You. Let them, give, to you. Show, someone. Show, someone: Your, heart. Let them, show their heart, too. Love, someone. Love, someone: Beginning, with you. Extend that love, to another. Allow another, to extend that … Continue reading Tell, someone.
  • Why Can’t I BE Loud?: I hide my heart, no more.
    Today, I rejoice. Fully, present. Fully, LIVEing. Fully, here. Fully, invested: In, life. In, love. In, me. In, God. In, Life. In, others. It feels good. To, be. Just to be, ME! Never, again, allowing circumstances, situations, others, other’s expectations, or lack thereof, to: Define, me. Own, me. Silence, me. Frighten, me. Defeat, me. Dismiss, … Continue reading Why Can’t I BE Loud?: I hide my heart, no more.
  • Jesus, here You stay.
    Jesus, here, You stay. Here, with me, You remain. Where ever I find me, I find You, there, too. No matter, where, You are there. I love You, Jesus. For, You have NO shame, when it comes, to me. To, seeking me. To, finding me. Where EVER, I go, there, You are willing to go, … Continue reading Jesus, here You stay.
  • He plays with ME. Wow.
    God plays. With me. With ME! Wow!! I am a different breed of cat, as they say. I enjoy goofhead things. I ENJOY being a goofhead. Most folk, though, either are too uncomfortable, too annoyed, or too something or other to allow me to, well, just be my goofhead side. I need to BE, her, … Continue reading He plays with ME. Wow.
  • Real talk: Play.
    It may, or may NOT be true, depending on who you listen to, or who be snitching, that I am sitting here, in my undies, drinking coffee, blasting Hillsong’s ‘Through it All’, in semi darkness, bathed only in the glow of my candle warmer…..*shiver*….awesome!! My heart woke me. She wanted, to play. No, she NEEDED, … Continue reading Real talk: Play.
  • Alone: A shepherd.
    Am feeling alone, today. Not, lonely. Just, alone. A sheperd. Helping God and Life to gently usher the little ones, back to the rest of the herd, where there is safety. Jesus loves all. Yet, His Greatest Concern, is for the stragglers, the lost sheep, those who stray a bit, from the safety the other … Continue reading Alone: A shepherd.
  • You Are Amazing!
    YOU ARE AMAZING! The things that we suffer with and from have a way of obscuring this one immutable certainty: You are amazing! Now, you may not be feeling particularly amazing at this particular moment in time (particularly if you are a person who views the glass as being half-empty and you may be struggling … Continue reading You Are Amazing!
  • You don’t make a difference, you ARE the difference!
    Go! Now! Be! Do! YOU! ‘Nuff said. Time is short, beloveds. This world NEEDS who and what you are. Be: You. For: Him. Me. You. Everyone. Unapologetically. Relentlessly. Tirelessly. Love SHALL win, in the end. Be, a light. With, The Light. Forever His and yours, I am. #YourLifeMattersToMe
  • Who, am I?
    I asked God: Who, am I? God said: You, are loved. You, are Mine. I asked God: Whose, am I? God said: You, are loved. You, are Mine. And, I am Yours. I asked God: Why, am I? God said: Because, I AM. You, are. I, said I!? Yes, said He!! I am. I am!! … Continue reading Who, am I?
  • You are amazing.
    You are amazing. Yea, YOU. If your eyes have landed, on this page, I was talking to you. 😎 Nope, you didn’t have to DO anything. Why are you amazing, you ask? The fact you may even HAVE to ask makes me sad. I used to wonder the same thing, about me. Used to beat … Continue reading You are amazing.
  • Help me to see Your Hand, when I can not hear Your Voice.
    I am not satisfied. God and Life keeps saying there is more to this life I have been living. They are right. The more free I get, the more I want to experience LIFE. ALL of it. The good days and the tough days. The awesome moments and the rough moments. I want to give … Continue reading Help me to see Your Hand, when I can not hear Your Voice.

Real talk: Here for you, as best I can.

2020 was hard. For all of us.

2021 has been hard. For all of us.

Life, situations, circumstances ALL showed up to, well, kick us all, in the face. They made us sit up, take notice, and to decide what we believe in, what we will/do stand for, who/what we will fight for, support, and love.

We have been asked, each of us, to look within us, to look outside of us.

We have been asked to CHOOSE to:

Care.

Not care.

Love.

Not love.

Our faith, hopes, dreams, beliefs, and all manner of things, have been tested, tried, exhausted. Some of those things, we have found wanting. In, ourselves. In, others.

The weight, of the world, has weighed, heavily, upon my heart, mind, soul and spirit. The weight, of this weight, has taken such a toll, on my heart.

It has been so very hard, beloveds. To know, what to say. To know, what to do. In this time. In this place. As a black woman. As a ‘person of color’. As a person who loves the Lord. Who has seen how folks have taken the word ‘Christian’ and have twisted it into meaning not intended for those who love and care for others.

I have wondered, I wonder STILL why God has not told His Folks to get some act right, to love like they KNOW they have been called to do. My heart has been heavy, watching folks dismiss, one another. Seeing how folks have seemingly chosen to ‘be right’ instead of choosing ‘to love and understand’.

I wonder if my black life, really does matter, to other races, to the white race, quite frankly. The evidence, the actions, appears to be no. That said, I choose to believe, they DO care. That they just don’t know HOW to bridge the divide, among and between us.

I CHOOSE, as a black woman. A STRONG black woman. To:

Love.

Care.

Hope.

Give.

Receive.

ALL I have to give, beloveds, is just ME. Just, my care. Just, my love. Just, my hope. Just, my joy.

These things, may not seem much, to many, to most. Yet, I give them. In hopes that some, might receive. In hopes that some, might know and understand: They are loved, they are cared for.

I am HERE, best as I can, for folks. Here, for you, best as I can.

I have no idea, if these words will matter. To any. To you. Yet, I give them, still. To all who may receive them.

I, care.

I, love.

I, hope.

I, give.

You are:

Loved.

Cared for.

Seen.

Valued.

Cherised.

Hoped for.

Fought for.

Prayed for.

By, me.

By, Life.

By, God.

Be encouraged. Your life DOES matters. Your thoughts, hopes, dreams, feelings matter. Keep on daydreaming. Keep on moving towards your future.

You CAN and you WILL.

As shall I.

We got this.

Best as I can, I got you. I have your back. Hopefully, one or two or ten, have mine. 🙂

take care,

Cassandra HOPEFUL FOR YOU

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Real talk: Take it all.

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=-c000kExHwM&feature=share

From, the beginning, the enemy, satan, has been trying to, threatening to, using every while/guile, in his arsenal, to take all, from me, from you.

From, the beginning, the world, has been trying to, threatening to, using every while/guile in it’s arsenal, to take all, from me, from you.

From, the beginning, they have been lying to us, mystifying us into believing we are not good enough, we don’t have enough, we won’t ever BE enough.

From, the beginning, they have taunted us, haunted us, refused to give up their quest, to defeat us.

they: You will lose. Everything.

Me: Take it all. For what God and Life ALLOWS you to take, I no longer need. ALL things work for MY good. NO weapon, formed against me, shall prosper. Take it all.

From, the beginning, God has been loving us, fighting for us, reminding us, we are not alone, we are love, sent His Son, Jesus, into our lives to let us know we are enough, we could never do enough to earn the love, care, freedom, protection, joy FREELY given, to us and for us.

From, the beginning, Life has been trying to, seeking to, working to ensure we have enough, reminds us we are enough, shouts from the heavens we SHALL be enough!

From, the beginning, They have entreated us, beseeched us, encouraged us, refused to give up Their Relentless Quest to defend, protect, to love us.

They: the enemy, the world, shall try to take all from you:

Your, joy.

Your, peace.

Your, hope.

Your, dreams.

Your, present.

Your, future.

Your, worldly possessions.

Your, security.

Your, safety.

Your, faith in:

God.

Life.

You.

Your fellow man.

We shall protect all you need.

Me: So long as I have You, I shall always have everything. Take it all.

As a woman, the enemy, the world, has done everything to take everything from me. they have tried to convince me that, as a woman of color, I am angry, too loud. As a 52 year old woman, I am too old, too slow, too this or too that.

Being faced with financial ruin, not of my own making, I initially panicked. I was tired of having things taken away. In the end, those things are just, well, things.

Take every dollar I have. Take every possession I own. Take every friend I have. I will STILL have it all.

For, as long as I have God, Life, Jesus, Yikes!, Egads!, Geez!, me, why, I have it ALL. I have family, friends, folks who care. For ME!

Where ever I go, however long I live, however much I have or don’t have, I have Them, They have me. Therefore, I am free. Take it all.

Life is short. Best live it, whilst we have it to live, eh?

Time to live your life, free from fear. Let the world do what it do, beloveds. You keep on being free. Keep on doing you. Keep on BEING you.

You got this. As do I. God and Life has us all.

til we all see our breakthroughs I pray,

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

Now what!?

Circumstances acted a fool on me, today.

Today, I stood.

Now what, circumstances?!

You, do NOT run this.

You, do NOT run me.

You, circumstances, shall run from me.

Situations cut up on me, today.

Today, I trusted.

Now what, situations!?

You, do NOT own this.

You, do NOT own me.

You, situations, shall be owned by me.

Now what?!

I am not afraid of you. I laugh at you. You cause me to grow. You force me to fight.

You give me new opportunities to stand, to trust, to show you how much power you actually have over my life:

NONE!

Kick rocks, circumstances and situations! I do not fear you. I welcome the hard lessons I learn from EVERY blow you make, from every chance you take to diminish me.

The ONLY things I lose, in these skirmishes, are my fear and my pride. Those, you may have. I have no need of them.

Now what?!

😎

Cassandra TRIUMPHANT

  • Tell, someone.
    Tell, someone. Tell, someone, they are: Loved. Needed. Required. Let, someone. Let, someone: In. Love, you. Give, someone. Give, someone: You. Let them, give, to you. Show, someone. Show, someone: Your, heart. Let them, show their heart, too. Love, someone. Love, someone: Beginning, with you. Extend that love, to another. Allow another, to extend that … Continue reading Tell, someone.
  • Why Can’t I BE Loud?: I hide my heart, no more.
    Today, I rejoice. Fully, present. Fully, LIVEing. Fully, here. Fully, invested: In, life. In, love. In, me. In, God. In, Life. In, others. It feels good. To, be. Just to be, ME! Never, again, allowing circumstances, situations, others, other’s expectations, or lack thereof, to: Define, me. Own, me. Silence, me. Frighten, me. Defeat, me. Dismiss, … Continue reading Why Can’t I BE Loud?: I hide my heart, no more.
  • Jesus, here You stay.
    Jesus, here, You stay. Here, with me, You remain. Where ever I find me, I find You, there, too. No matter, where, You are there. I love You, Jesus. For, You have NO shame, when it comes, to me. To, seeking me. To, finding me. Where EVER, I go, there, You are willing to go, … Continue reading Jesus, here You stay.
  • He plays with ME. Wow.
    God plays. With me. With ME! Wow!! I am a different breed of cat, as they say. I enjoy goofhead things. I ENJOY being a goofhead. Most folk, though, either are too uncomfortable, too annoyed, or too something or other to allow me to, well, just be my goofhead side. I need to BE, her, … Continue reading He plays with ME. Wow.
  • Real talk: Play.
    It may, or may NOT be true, depending on who you listen to, or who be snitching, that I am sitting here, in my undies, drinking coffee, blasting Hillsong’s ‘Through it All’, in semi darkness, bathed only in the glow of my candle warmer…..*shiver*….awesome!! My heart woke me. She wanted, to play. No, she NEEDED, … Continue reading Real talk: Play.

I CHOOSE…

I choose:

To stand, no matter what.

To TRY, no matter what.

To love, no matter what.

To give my all, no matter what.

To persevere, no matter what.

To laugh, no matter what.

To hope, no matter what.

I choose to:

Trust, God.

Trust, Life.

Trust, my TRY.

Trust, the folks in my life who care for me.

I choose NOT to:

Give up.

Give in.

Turn my back on:

God.

Life.

Faith.

Me.

Love.

Joy.

Hope.

I choose ALWAYS to:

Show up.

Start.

Start, again.

Again!

AGAIN!!

I choose to show up, to the start line, win or lose:

Tomorrow.

And, the next day.

And, the next day.

Until my heart, beats no more, and I can choose no more…

…I CHOOSE!

keep showing up,

Cassandra CHOSEN

#YourLifeMattersToMe

  • Tell, someone.
    Tell, someone. Tell, someone, they are: Loved. Needed. Required. Let, someone. Let, someone: In. Love, you. Give, someone. Give, someone: You. Let them, give, to you. Show, someone. Show, someone: Your, heart. Let them, show their heart, too. Love, someone. Love, someone: Beginning, with you. Extend that love, to another. Allow another, to extend that … Continue reading Tell, someone.
  • Why Can’t I BE Loud?: I hide my heart, no more.
    Today, I rejoice. Fully, present. Fully, LIVEing. Fully, here. Fully, invested: In, life. In, love. In, me. In, God. In, Life. In, others. It feels good. To, be. Just to be, ME! Never, again, allowing circumstances, situations, others, other’s expectations, or lack thereof, to: Define, me. Own, me. Silence, me. Frighten, me. Defeat, me. Dismiss, … Continue reading Why Can’t I BE Loud?: I hide my heart, no more.
  • Jesus, here You stay.
    Jesus, here, You stay. Here, with me, You remain. Where ever I find me, I find You, there, too. No matter, where, You are there. I love You, Jesus. For, You have NO shame, when it comes, to me. To, seeking me. To, finding me. Where EVER, I go, there, You are willing to go, … Continue reading Jesus, here You stay.
  • He plays with ME. Wow.
    God plays. With me. With ME! Wow!! I am a different breed of cat, as they say. I enjoy goofhead things. I ENJOY being a goofhead. Most folk, though, either are too uncomfortable, too annoyed, or too something or other to allow me to, well, just be my goofhead side. I need to BE, her, … Continue reading He plays with ME. Wow.
  • Real talk: Play.
    It may, or may NOT be true, depending on who you listen to, or who be snitching, that I am sitting here, in my undies, drinking coffee, blasting Hillsong’s ‘Through it All’, in semi darkness, bathed only in the glow of my candle warmer…..*shiver*….awesome!! My heart woke me. She wanted, to play. No, she NEEDED, … Continue reading Real talk: Play.
  • Alone: A shepherd.
    Am feeling alone, today. Not, lonely. Just, alone. A sheperd. Helping God and Life to gently usher the little ones, back to the rest of the herd, where there is safety. Jesus loves all. Yet, His Greatest Concern, is for the stragglers, the lost sheep, those who stray a bit, from the safety the other … Continue reading Alone: A shepherd.
  • You Are Amazing!
    YOU ARE AMAZING! The things that we suffer with and from have a way of obscuring this one immutable certainty: You are amazing! Now, you may not be feeling particularly amazing at this particular moment in time (particularly if you are a person who views the glass as being half-empty and you may be struggling … Continue reading You Are Amazing!
  • You don’t make a difference, you ARE the difference!
    Go! Now! Be! Do! YOU! ‘Nuff said. Time is short, beloveds. This world NEEDS who and what you are. Be: You. For: Him. Me. You. Everyone. Unapologetically. Relentlessly. Tirelessly. Love SHALL win, in the end. Be, a light. With, The Light. Forever His and yours, I am. #YourLifeMattersToMe
  • Who, am I?
    I asked God: Who, am I? God said: You, are loved. You, are Mine. I asked God: Whose, am I? God said: You, are loved. You, are Mine. And, I am Yours. I asked God: Why, am I? God said: Because, I AM. You, are. I, said I!? Yes, said He!! I am. I am!! … Continue reading Who, am I?