I am: Just words upon a page.

I am…

?

I am, just words, upon a page. Words spoken, through love, given to a world seemingly who cares not, for my tone, my color, my gender.

You see, to the world, I should be unseen. I AM unseen.

For, I am:

Too, loud.

Too, old.

Too, female.

Too, black.

Too, spiritual.

Too, fat.

Too, ugly.

Too much, of this. Not enough, of that, it seems, to be counted worthy. To…

Be.

Breathe.

Have.

Do.

Yet, there is SOMETHING, inside me, STILL, that wants to try.

To:

Love.

Have.

Be.

Do.

My heart says that I am:

Beautiful.

Loving.

Worthy.

God and life says that I am:

Beautiful.

Worthy.

Loved.

The world says:

Nothing.

The world, sees me as not worthy of it’s time, it’s visage, it’s supposed ‘rewards’ for being one of the pretty ones, the white ones, the male ones, the male white ones.

I am just words, upon a page, pages no one wants to read, the world continually mocks and tells me.

The world says:

Give up.

Stop trying.

No one will care enough to read your pages. Your words were already judged and found wanting. Simply because of your gender. You were immediately unwanted, because of your race. The world said I would never be loved, because of this face.

God and Life says the world lies. They encourage me to keep going. They tell me I AM loved. They tell me that my life was worth the death of a King.

I tell, Life. I tell, God:

I am just words upon a page. All I have to give are the words, the love, the joy, in my heart.

What could, what does, what will those words, that love, this joy, in my heart ever do or change?

For, I am loud, female, black, fat, ugly, poor, spiritual. At least, this is what the world tells me, on a daily basis.

God: Do you believe this of yourself?

Me: Absolutely, not!

Life: How do YOU see yourself?

Me: I see myself the way God made me:

Beautiful.

Loving.

Joyful.

Free.

Whole.

Life: Did you always feel this way?

Me: No. For many years, I believed, the world. I believed, it’s lies.

God: What changed your mind?

Me: Your, Character. Your, Deep and Abiding Love. Your, Word. The Love of One, who cares for the one, me. Because of those things, because of Your Relentless Love, I was able to SEE, me. I was able to RECEIVE, me. I was able to LOVE, me.

God: There are countless others who feel this way about themselves. It grieves Me. Deeply.

Life: It grieves, me.

Me: It breaks my heart. I wish I was more than just words upon a page. If I could, I would heal EVERY broken heart. I would mend each one. By my own hand. I would be gentle, with the stitches.

I would speak healing words, to each heart. I would sing to it. I would encourage it.

God and Life: If you had ONE chance. One chance only, to speak, to the world, what would those words be?

Me: I would simply say what I have said many times, in as many ways as I have known how:

God SEES you. God LOVES you. God CARES DEEPLY for your life. Your life, matters. Your thoughts, matter. YOU, matter. Your life was worth the death of a King.

God: Tell them.

Me: I will.

Yet, I am, just words, upon a page.

Am I?

We shall see.

Unapologetically, His.

Unapologetically, yours.

Cassandra

#YourLifeMattersToMe

One thought on “I am: Just words upon a page.

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