Broken pieces: You are NOT your pain.
I have been trying to write this piece, since April. Today seems fitting, somehow.
Had to scrape my way, out of bed. Forced myself, to STAY at work. Dammit!
Sunday is Father’s Day. I BARELY made it, through Mother’s Day, in one piece.
Still, I stood.
This last week, though, has been impossible. Almost.
I was really doing okay, yall. That is, until I wasn’t. Grief has such an unfair way of sneaking up on you, unsuspecting. Here I was, minding my own, felt a tap on the shoulder and……
I told myself that grief WILL NOT, absolutely will not, have the last say. I let grief know, loss will NOT have the last word.
Grief, got mad and whacked me, upside the heart, once again.
The one thing grief will never understand is God and Life will NEVER leave us to suffer grief, alone. So long as we reach out, God and Life will ensure we are okay. Will offer us comfort. Will be there, WITH us, as grief has it’s say.
Yet, it is imperative, during these times, we lean, HEAVILY upon God’s Deep and Abiding Love for us, on HIS Character, and HIS Word.
If not, we can, and often do, listen to grief’s sad song, for much longer than we should. Yes, grieving is necessary. It’s normal. It’s healing. We can allow grief and loss, though, to turn into something else, if we are not careful.
If we try and deny it, hide it, dismiss it, wish it away, it just comes out in other ways, often unhealthy ones, to boot.
Losing someone you love, losing something you have loved, letting go of something that has meant the world to you, is never easy. It was not meant to be so. We hurt so, BECAUSE we loved so hard and so much. No shame in that.
The most important thing to remember, when going through an especially tough time, is to KNOW that you are NOT your pain. Neither, am I. It just FEELS like it, doesn’t it? It’s tough, to think straight, when something has hurt you bad enough where you would dearly love to snatch your heart, out of your chest, and sit it somewhere, til the pain goes away.
We just want the pain to STOP ALREADY! Go kick some rocks, pain/grief/loss!!
It’s super important, to let God and Life in, to let folks who care for you, in, to support you, as you work your way up, out and through the painful moments. Far too many of us, my dumbsky self included, at times, tend to dismiss our grief/loss/pain as either ‘too heavy’ or ‘too inconvenient’ for others. We don’t want to ‘be a burden’…..smh….sigh.
Beloveds, you are never, ever, ever, ever, EVER a burden. Not to God. Not to Life. Not to those who truly love you. ALL want to support you, to watch your back, if you will but allow them to.
Be good to yourself. Be PATIENT with yourself. Be aware you are in a tough spot, having some tough moments.
Give yourself room to grieve, space to feel or not feel. Remind yourself it truly is okay to not be okay until you are okay again. You will be. I shall be.
In the meantime, keep on taking out the trash, living in the moment, loving folks and allowing folks to love you. Get enough to eat. Rest, as best as you can. Read a book. Listen to some uplifting music. The trick is to DO something.
Quitting is NOT an option.
Hiding is NOT an option.
Going into survival mode is NOT an option.
Keep on living, beloveds. Keep going.
You SHALL over come these moments.
As shall I.
You are NOT your pain.
Neither am I.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.
Cassandra STANDING STILL