I was writing, yes, using my own ugly handwriting, this morning. It is both easy, and hard, to do. Okay, not easy. Hard. Why? This is what I wrote:
I was thinking about blogging about my handwriting. The more I ‘write’, the more I look at my “ugly” handwriting, the more I am forced to see my perceptions, of my handwriting, came from ME comparing it, to other people’s handwriting.
Writing, I get to LOOK. At me. The TRUE me. The me God made! HE made my hands, and the works of them. HE made me loud. HE made me boisterous. HE gave me my ridiculous sense of humor. HE made me super serious. HE gave me this deep love, for people. People I will never see or meet. Yet, I love them. Still. I pray for them. I worry for them. I want them to KNOW they are not alone.
Writing, today, I don’t cringe, as much. My handwriting is HIS. As am I. He loves it. He loves ME. I am learning to love ALL of ME. I WILL love ALL of me! 🙂
It’s never easy to admit we don’t always, or often at times, see ourselves the way we need to. The way God sees us. The way Life sees us.
At times, we look, at ourselves. We pick apart this and cringe at that. We wonder how, in the world, could God, could Life, could others, POSSIBLY put up with, let alone love, this part of me or that part.
Thinking these things, we hide those ‘unworthy’ parts. Not knowing, the parts we view the least, God loves the most. Life needs them most. Those who love and care for us need them. They need to see us. ALL of us.
In resplendent gold. In dowdy grey. ALL of us IS:
Yes, we have things which needs tightening up. Yes, we have things which need to grow. Yes, we have things which need to be put away, when their end has been met.
Yet, in ALL these things, they ALL work together, for our good.
Every moment, of our lives, have been a benefit, if we allow them to be. The moments we find cringe worthy. The actions that did not lead to the best choices or outcomes. The thoughts that led us to places familiar and unfamiliar.
ALL these things have led us to the person we are, today.
The person you are, today, may not be one you are proud of, because of past or present doings. Isn’t it wonderful, to know that God and Life have taken ALL into account? Any moment, we choose, we can have a ‘do over’
We can start, again. We can build, again. We can be renewed, again. We can be born again, again. We can hope, again. We can live, again. We can win, again.
I love me, today. As I am. Broken parts, healed parts, I don’t even know parts….smh. I love ALL of me, today. I promise to do my best to love me, tomorrow. Yet, I live, in this moment, today, and love me. Tomorrow will take care of itself.
On a side note, the more I love me, the more I feel the Love of God, of Life, FOR me. Awesome. Amazing!
It makes me sad, looking at my handwriting now, knowing how much I had always hated it, hated looking at it, thinking it was not pretty enough or stylish enough or smart looking enough.
Makes me sad, for ALL of us, how we limit ourselves, view ourselves, think less of ourselves, at times.
I am so thankful God and Life cared enough to set a bush ablaze. THAT burning bush. The one that caused me, to turn aside, to see and hear what God and Life had been waiting to tell me, to show me.
They just wanted to show me, well, ME. The true me. The one They created, before I was ever born. The me that was meant to be, that IS:
There is NOTHIHNG I need to add, to me, to make me valuable. Yes, there are things I can, I must, I WILL do, to maintain, to grow, the greatness ALREADY contained, within me. Yet, if I did nothing else, if I stopped my TRY, I am loved.
As are you.
Keep going, beloveds. Don’t be afraid to face your ‘handwriting’, whatever your ‘handwriting’ symbolizes.
Your life matters.
Your life matters.
To, others, as you allow them in.
Draw closer, beloveds. Draw closer, to God, to Life, to folks. We need each other. I need you, in my life. You need me, in yours. Folks in our lives, well, they need to be able to love on us, to love us, to have us love them, fully. As God and Life intended.
This, person of color, me, love ALL of my brothers and sisters and others. Even the dummy ones who are too afraid to allow themselves to love folks who don’t look, talk, feel, see things, like them. Yes, love me some of them hard headed folks.
Love someone, beloveds. Begin, with YOU. Then, branch out and love some others who don’t think, see, feel, know, experience life as you do. We need each others love and perspective.
I love you.
Love me back.
Please and thanks.
His Daughter and your big/lil sis,
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