Stillborn dreams.

I’m tired. Tired of shouting into the void.

That’s what I told God and Life, yesterday. And, the day before that. And, the day before that.

I shout into the void.

I wait.

I wait.

I wait.

I wait.

The day, turns into the night…

The void has mocked me. ALL day.

The void says to me “Come again, tomorrow.

Perhaps, the love you seek, the dreams you bring forth for fulfillment, the gifts you wish to utilize may be yours.

Tomorrow.

Return to me, tomorrow. And, we shall see.

So, I fight the night, to win the dawn. I fight, to earn the right, to try, yet again. Tomorrow.

Tomorrow has now become, today.

Again.

Again, I shout, into the void.

For, myself.

For, others.

Rinse.

Repeat.

I wait.

I wait.

I wait.

I wait.

Silence.

The void, is silent.

God, is silent.

Life, is silent.

Now, the silence, not the void, mocks me.

Taunts me.

“Are you sure, beloved?”

“Are you SURE?”

Silence: DID God and Life REALLY mean for you to have these things?

Me: Yes.

The void: Are you sure? What of all the hopes, dreams, goals, unfulfilled, strewn behind you, all these years?

Me: Yes.

Unfulfilled dreams: Are you sure? You sure God and Life are going to give me to you?

Me: Yes.

Circumstances: Are you sure? Don’t you see how I keep you dancing, keep you confused, keep you wondering? Do you trust God and Life? Really? Still? STILL?!

Me: Yes.

Life: Are you sure? Are you sure that you KNOW God has your back? Are you sure?

Me: Yes.

God:..

Me: Speak not, God, My Father. I KNOW you got this. Let the void have it’s silence. Let silence have it’s say. Let circumstances do what they will. Let the unfulfilled dreams taunt and mock. I KNOW You have my back. I KNOW and experience, daily, Your Deep and Abiding Love for me. I KNOW and stand on Your Word. They are true. They never fail. NEVER. YOU, never fail. You never have. You never will.

Today, I shout into the void. I shout, KNOWING, my dreams are not stillborn. They never have been. They never will be.

Yes, there have been dreams, things, situations, circumstances that never panned out the way I THOUGHT they should. Does this mean they did not do as God and Life intended for them? I may never know. Yet, the point in dreaming, in hoping, in loving, in trying, is all in the TRY, beloveds.

It is the TRY in which we grow. It is in the TRY we learn. It is in the TRY we are refined. It is in the TRY we learn when and how to stand. It is in the TRY where our victory truly lies.

Beloveds, it is in the TRY, in the middle of the night, when trying still is STILL so hard, that you find out who/what you are.

Can you TRY, still, when every door seems to have been locked tight, to you?

Can you TRY, STILL, when you have left EVERYTHING on the field, on the job, in the relationship, and NOTHING seems to have come of the thing, the relationship, the situation?

Can you TRY, when you have, faithfully tried, for years, and the thing, situation, relationship, never came to pass?

Can you TRY, and remain hopeful?

Can you TRY, and not allow your TRY to become discouraged, angry, mistrustful, hopeless, helpless?

Are you standing over your stillborn dreams? Are you looking at them, angry, wondering why you wasted so much time, so much energy, so much love, only to see them withered, empty, unfulfilled, still?

Take those stillborn dreams, to God and Life and ask for them to be resurrected. While there, ask for some grace, some comfort, some healing, for yourself, for your heart. Carrying what we perceive to be stillborn dreams, can be painful.

There is good news, for us. Our dreams are NEVER stillborn dreams to God. To Life. Our dreams are our faith seeds. Seeds, of hope. Seeds, of faith. Seeds, of joy. Seeds we joyfully planted. Planted and waited.

And, waited.

And, waited.

And, waited.

And, waited.

You see, the dreams never changed. WE changed. In the waiting. The waiting seemed to take too long. So, we dug up our dreams. Some, we gave up on, completely. Others, meant so much to us, we tucked them in the back of a drawer. Other dreams, well, we began to fear dreaming. Began to water our dreams with doubt, fear, perhaps a bit of anger here and there.

Dreams can’t thrive, breathe and grow, without FAITH, TRUST, HOPE, LOVE. The ONLY things that will grow when we douse them with doubt, fear, discouragement and helplessness is anger, bitterness, despair, mistrust.

The bible says that 2 Timothy 1:7 God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Jeremiah 29:11 –  For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

It is up to me, it is up to YOU, to water your dreams, your hopes, you future, your current family, your hoped for family, your friends, your hoped for friends with HIS Word, not your fears, doubts, (add whatever you like here).

ALL God and Life requires of us is that we TRY. We hope. We live. We love. We give. The outcome. Well, the outcome is not up to me, it is not up to you. Things may not turn out the way we thought they would, should, could.

If you have done your all, given your all, have done all you know, let your TRY and God do the rest. The fact you tried, you gave, you loved, you lived, is victory, all in itself. You cared, at least you tried to, care for those around you. You tried to make a difference. You tried to be the difference.

Your efforts, your TRY, your dreams can NEVER be stillborn.

Keep dreaming. Keep trying. Keep reaching out. Keep shouting into the void. Tell the void, circumstances, fear, doubt, despair, hopelessness to go on ‘head and kick some rocks!!

And, when they all try and taunt you telling you you dreams are still born, well, remind them jokers of a man called Lazarus!

Ha!

We got this. I got this. As do you.

Keep going. You do NOT go alone.

praying for us all til our dreams be fulfilled,

Cassandra VICTORIOUS

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