Real talk: How much do YOU like you?

How much do YOU like you?

Ow! That can be a touchy question.

How much do YOU like you?

Do you only like you when others do?

Do you only like you when you have ‘done a good job’?

Do you only like you when you feel as though you have ‘done enough’ for the day, person, situation?

Do you only like you when work has gone well, when your efforts have been well received?

Do you still like you when you have flamed out, royally, at work or with some person or situation?

Do you STILL like you when ALL your efforts seem to have come to naught?

Do you STILL like you when others seem to have rebuffed you, or worse, ignored you, entirely?

How much do YOU like you?

How much do YOU love you?

Do you love you only when you are receiving love from another?

Can you love yourself when you are all alone with no one to fill your love bucket but YOU?

Is your like and love independent of what you do? Of what you have or perceive yourself of not having yet or at all?

CAN you be liked/loved if you are not DOING anything, at the moment?

Does your just showing up qualify as ‘enough’?

For YOU?

I asked myself, these questions, the other day. A week or so ago, God and Life told me to ‘come down from the wall’. Meaning, get down from watching over folk. Time to get some rest, for ME. As a caregiver, tough message to hear/receive. I am used to encouraging folk, used to ‘being there’ in case of a need. I am used to, swooping in, scooping up, saving the day, giving my last, giving my all.

So, when God and Life, told me to ‘come down from the wall’ and rest. Well, can I admit to being a bit restless?

Is it okay, to admit, to you, at least, I don’t have the first clue, not really, of REAL rest. Am learning, though. One agonizingly quiet minute/hour/day after the other.

At first, when God and Life told me to take a chill pill, and rest, I was excited. Exhausted, to be honest. This has been a tough last year or so. Tough since my mom passed. EVERY day, since mom passed, I have been doing my utmost to let folks know to love, live, and have joy, best they can as life is so very short. So short.

I have felt like some town crier, shouting into the wind, desperate for folks to NEVER have to experience the feeling of watching a loved one, lowered into precious earth, without KNOWING they had loved him/her/they for as long and as hard as they could.

Have done all that I know, given all I have to give. So folks would KNOW they were loved and cared for. I can’t even tell you why it has been so important to me. Other than God needing folk to know.

So, here I was, hollering as loud and long as I could. Then, God and Life, tapped me on the shoulder and told me to be still, to be quiet, to get some rest.

YIKES!

EGADS!

I have felt like an antsy kid. Not really restless. Not really wondering. Not really.

After a few days, though, I must admit my HEART has begun to wonder. Not wander. But WONDER.

Is quiet me, enough for folks?

Is quiet me, enough for ME?

Is quiet me, enough for God and Life?

Ah!

Back to the ‘enough’ question!

I decided to trust God and Life, and do as they said. I turned off the phone. Put down my pen/laptop and was still. Still, and wondering.

Wondered what all I would discover, about ME, not others. Wondered what it would be like to just BE, not do. Just to BE.

Still.

Silent.

Quiet.

The stillness has been sooooooooooooooo still.

The quiet so very quiet.

Seems like all of heaven, and all of ME, is wondering about this one, ME. This ME who has forever been hollering and wondering ‘Why Can’t I Be Loud?! Wondering what SHE wonders about, while NOT wandering about, wondering about others.

What does SHE, me, think about all this not doing stuff, this not speaking stuff, this not writing stuff.

Will I like her this way? Stiil? Quiet? Not rushing, to and fro, seeking someone to help, encourage, support?

Do I love this quiet her?

Do I like this serious her?

Do I need others, to like her before I will/do?

Do I need to see the seal of approval of a like post, a responded to text or email before I will pat her on the head and say ‘well done, faithful servant?’

Let me tell you, these are NOT easy questions to answer, in the still of the night. Rather, they are not easy to hear one’s hearts answers to them. We have NO idea, what our heart will say to us, unless we find the courage and take the time to ask ourselves these things.

I am glad I asked them, of me. Learned many things about me.

What did I learn about me, you ask?

Ah! Another great question!

I shall save those nuggets for upcoming posts. This is called foreshadowing…..hehe…..for me to know and you to read about, should you be curious…hehe….

As for you….

How much do YOU like you? Do you think you have got it going on, like popcorn? Or, do you have to be validated, stamped and sealed, by other’s approval? Do you have to DO to be okay with thee? Dare you give yourself permission, to come down off the wall, and rest, be still, be quiet and find out what YOU truly think about you?

You may surprise yourself, with what you find out.

Let me know what your answers turned out to be.

Ready. Set. LIVE!

yours,

Cassandra

4 thoughts on “Real talk: How much do YOU like you?

  1. Come off the wall, folks! We are so much more than what we do or say. You are so much more than ministry, entertainment, help etc. Yes, these things are needed and appreciated when you do them. KNOW though that your LIFE is amazing all cuz you wuz born homies and homettes! We are loved.❤😎🔥

    Like

  2. We’re here on this earth, and that alone makes us enough.

    I’m the person that I always have, and always will have, spent the most time with. I’m like my own cozy flannel onesie that may have a few holes and a few stains, but it will always be the most comfortable thing I’ve got.

    Like

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