That burning bush.
That burning bush!
There are days, not many but some, that I want to damned that burning bush.
It never goes out.
IT NEVER GOES OUT!!
Some days, it’s just an ember. A gentle reminder to keep trying, to keep fighting, to keep loving, to keep seeking.
Other days it’s a raging inferno. An insistent notification to:
Mostly, it’s there, always there now, a constant reminder to:
Dear Lord, that blasted burning bush can drive one up ten walls, though, can’t it?!
Real talk. Growing is hard. Being pulled aside, to see where we have kept ourselves from growing, to see where others have kept us from growing, to see where we have allowed situations and circumstances to keep us from growing, hurts.
It hurts I delayed God’s and Life’s blessings due to MY unbelief in:
Support of family/friends.
Moments meant to change my life for the GOOD.
Miracles hidden into EVERY day had I looked for them.
I imagine Moses may have been overwhelmed, himself, being called aside to see that burning bush. He was minding his own, thinking his time had passed. He may have even been chiding himself, deriding himself for opportunities lost from being booted out of Egypt.
He may have been doubting himself, his worth, in coming from wealth to tossed aside, banished to the desert, to fight it out with scorpions etc. He wandered for 40 years remember.
I wonder if Moses wondered, as he wandered, if he had missed God’s and Life’s best for his life. I know I have wondered, as I have wandered, if I have ‘missed it’ somehow. The older we get, the farther removed from old dreams, hopes, aspirations, the easier it can be to get down on ourselves for ‘just’ tending some sheep.
We feel as if we ‘should have’, ‘could have’ been doing MORE.
More what? Don’t ask me. The world, situations, circumstances, the enemy, often taunts us. Points out where other folks seem to have ‘gotten it’ and ‘gotten things’ long before we have/did.
Single folk may be lamenting never having been married. Married folk may be lamenting never having children. Folk with children may be lamenting not pursuing education/adventures prior to having children.
Seems like, each of us, have all manner of ‘sheep’ or things we have been tending, all these years, prior to being tapped on the shoulder and asked to ‘turn aside’ and view that burning bush.
Seeing that burning bush, that reminder inside of us freedom, greatness, hopes, dreams, goals, (enter whatever you like here) are just bursting, inside us, waiting to get free, is a great thing. It is also a frustrating thing, to be honest.
That burning bush, it NEVER goes out. A reminder there is MORE to this life we had been surviving, up til now.
Yes, LIVING life feels good. But, it can also be exhausting, frustrating, scary etc. Surviving, seems like, was much easier. It was MUCH simpler guarding our sheep, then it is to be forever trying to grow, to be free, to LIVE. Surviving, we lie to ourselves, takes less effort. The reverse, in fact, is true.
It takes ALL your survival skills, to hide the truth from yourself. It takes ALL your energy to pretend like your self imposed prison is okay. It takes ALL within you to deny your heart’s cry for freedom, love, opportunity, moments and all God and Life has prepared for us.
That burning bush is a friend. Yet, lately, it almost feels like a task master, doesn’t it?!
I don’t feel like taking the high road, today. I want to fuss, fume, fret, gripe and complain about why it’s not MY turn yet. I want to, let’s be honest, act a fool, like a child on a long car ride, asking ‘are we there yet?’
I want to already BE there! As soon as the lights came on, as soon as I saw that burning bush, my heart rejoiced.
Let’s go! I want to rush out, to my new ‘home’, to my new experiences.
Yet, those things may not be ready yet. There is STILL work to do!
Even if God and Life opened the door, to a new place, I STILL have to pack up the old one. I STILL have to get rid of old things, to make way/room, for the new things.
I STILL have to prepare my heart for company, if I have been alone.
I STILL have to get my body in shape, if I have abused it or have been ill or the myriad of things that can happen to our physical man.
I STILL have to make things right with relationships I wrecked, or situations/circumstances wrecked, or the enemy wrecked.
I STILL have to break old habits of being afraid to try new things.
I STILL have to get rid of old tapes I have listened to where others, circumstances, situations, the enemy, (insert whatever you like here) have told me I was not enough, I have to stay on the hamster wheel and earn my place/love etc.
That burning bush does so many things, for us. It not only enlightens us, but also shows us what we had been living with, in the darkness.
The light can show us some frightful things, about ourselves, can’t it?
Who the world knew I would be soooooooooooooo terrrified to start a new job?
Who knew I was working myself to death, in part, believing I had to keep earning God and Life’s respect/love/care/blessings?
Who would have ever imagined, I could spend decades, encouraging the world, and have spent so long keeping the same encouragement, from reaching my own heart, playing Superwoman and not letting folks/love/moments ALL the way in?
THAT burning bush! I am so thankful God and LIfe turned me aside.
THAT burning bush! Dammit, God and Life, my life would have been so much easier, had you left me alone, in semi darkness, surviving this life, not living it.
THAT burning bush!
That burning bush is giving me so many opportunities to:
Yea, that bush has renewed my hope. In myself. In God. In Life. In others.
That bush, helps me to keep trying.
It call to me to keep going. Keep going, Cassandra.
I whisper to you, I encourage you to keep on going, beloveds. Keep going. Keep trusting in yourself. You got this! Don’t be ashamed of what that burning bush, has revealed to you. Do NOT allow the world, the enemy, situations, circumstances, yourself to get down on you for where you are now. You are not ‘JUST’ anything! You have not ‘just’ been tending sheep. You have been doing the best you can, with the knowledge you had to work with, at the time.
Yes, it may have taken more time, years, circumstances then you would have liked, before you were tapped the shoulder, to see your burning bush. Do not lament the time it took. Do not fret about the standing, time, dreams, hopes, aspirations you think you may have lost.
You are STILL winning. You have ALREADY won. The fact you have turned aside, have put down your pride, fear, etc, to look upon your burning bush, is a great victory. THAT burning bush is revealing your freedom. That bush is showing you the way. It will guide you. It will warm you. It will encourage you.
Be encouraged. GOD will explain what THAT burning bush is. It means many things. Be patient, with yourself. Be patient, with others. When we grow, we become different. Folks around us may be uncomfortable with your growth. That’s a ‘their problem’ not a ‘you problem’. Keep on growing. They will either grow with you, go with you, or will get gone, unable to accept your growth. Keep growing.
God and Life just wants us to keep trying. It gets hard, waiting for the results of freedom. Being free comes with a cost. We have to keep giving our ALL. Freedom costs us everything. Yet, we win ALL.
God has our backs. He knows dealing with that burning bush can be trying. Yet, God’s Character, God’s Deep and Abiding Love for us will see us through.
While we are in our ‘in the meantime’, in between growth and walking in complete freedom, continue to:
We got this. God has us all.
growing and going with you,