When circumstances tap on the shoulder and punches you square in the face you are welcome to get holy hacked.
That said, you may NOT:
You may fuss at God and Life. Feel free. Throw a tantrum. Have at it. Stomp your feet. Shake your fists.
Then, scratch, claw, cry, holler, wonder your way back and get to standing.
Stand not on YOUR:
Feelings. Feelings. Feelings. FEELINGS!
Get the theme here?
We are NOT to stand on our feelings. Standing has ZERO to do with what you feel or don’t feel. Standing, could give two hoots, about what you want or don’t want. Need or don’t need.
Beloved, do not allow yourself to fall into the trap of standing only when you can see God, hear God or know what is going on. There will just be times when you can’t see, can’t trust what you feel, and have not the slightest idea of what is going on.
It’s so easy to walk away when you have tried everything and STILL, dammit, the damned mountain just won’t move already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What is more maddening, is when you have done all that you know, the mountain won’t move and God and Life are so damned silent!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don’t yall see me over here doing the best I can do and nothing is giving way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????
I can admit to telling God and Life yesterday that I was either going to win, or I was going to lose. Just could not bear, or so I thought, yet another day of going around these same damned mountains. Only, more mountains are being added, the climbs are much steeper, there are more bandits and scary things on these mountains. These mountains never seem to have an end.
I wanted the end, dammit! Wanted off of here. I did NOT WANT to face another mountain, another day, with Jaybird forever yapping in my ear to keep going.
I was tired of the damned mountain. Exhausted from day 10 of this blasted fever. DAY TEN!!!! I was sick of being sick, tired of being tired. Dammit.
So, I made the decision to stop standing….*sigh*…smh. Moron me, using being all up in my feelings, as an excuse. I called a friend. Told him I was fixing to do a whole bunch of drinking and was over it. Thank goodness for friends who will tell you the truth.
I got a nice lecture. A nice boot to the rear. I pouted. A lot. I drank. A fair bit. I cried. Not at all. Just too sick and tired for that. Put on a super hero movie and watched all night. Fussed at the screen. Super heroes were for dummies. Ordinarily, I would be the main one hooting and hollering and donning capes to get in the fight. Just sat glumly, fully engaged in my pity party, drinking not quite so much knowing I was going to get over my mad and go to the job I said I was going to quit come morning….smh…..
Que morning. Turned on my music, poured myself in some clothes, got some act right, sulked past a silently staring God and Life and got back to standing.
Moral of the story, you ask? Beats me, am too busy standing. Too busy living this life and not surviving it. Too busy being grateful for how horribly awful terrible exasperating maddening yesterday was. It gave me the opportunity to watch me give up on myself, ungive up on myself, give up, ungive up, stand, stop standing, stand again, and watch a half way decent super hero movie where the hero wins in the end.
How could I NOT be grateful?
Keep going. We got this. Even when it doesn’t feel like it.
P.S. You are NOT alone. Have never felt more alone in my life than I did yesterday. I was not alone, yesterday. Not for one second. Tell yo feelings, ANY feelings, that gives you permission to quit to go kick some rocks!!
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- Be optimistic!https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=p66Jp6ervRA&feature=share We fixin’ to cross the finish line, beloveds! Be optimistic! Look how far you have come!? Look how much you have grown?! See how much you have opened your heart. See how far your faith has taken you. Be optimistic! ALL times pass. Both good and bad. This time is at it’s end, beloveds. … Continue reading Be optimistic!
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- Keep showing up!Monday. Again! *sigh*. Time. Time to start over. Again. Time, to show up. Again. Time. Time, to choose the starting line. Again. Time. Time, to wonder: Will today be the day where we get to win, finally? Will today be the day where we lose, yet again? Will today be the day where we give … Continue reading Keep showing up!
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- Your TRY is needed.Your TRY is needed. Your TRY is crucial. Your TRY causes others to want to try. Your TRY causes Heaven to try harder, on your behalf. Your TRY is changing lives, is changing your own. Even, when you can’t see, the outcome. ESPECIALLY, when you can’t see it. See, God and Life don’t want you … Continue reading Your TRY is needed.
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- I am……enough. You are… …enough. We are all… …enough. I am… …loved. You are… …loved. We are all… …loved. God loves… …me. God loves… …you. God loves… …us all. ‘Nuff said. 😎❤ Cassandra LOVED
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- In this day.Good Morning. Yes, it IS good. You are here. STILL. You fought the night, to get to today, and won. The day, is yours, to use as you please. You only get one. Use it wisely. Laugh, in this day. Love, in this day. Spend some time with God, in this day. Chop it up … Continue reading In this day.
- Believe!https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYwSKZ8D1oM&feature=share Believe. Believe! BELIEVE!! Believe, in yourself. Believe, in your future. Believe, love IS for you. Believe, your dreams ARE attainable and worth having. Believe, you will make it. Believe, you CAN. Believe, you WILL!! Believe, ALL things really do work together FOR YOUR GOOD. Believe, you are MORE than a conqueror, through HIM, who … Continue reading Believe!
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