Fight for Jaybird: April 1st

The game, is, a foot.

I don’t give the first good damn.

I TOLD, God, I was NOT, ready.

I told, Life, I was just not, ready.

I told her, I am not ready, to face you, to face THAT Anger, THAT moment, at THIS moment.

How, can I do THIS moment, when I couldn’t do THAT moment?


Damn, me. For:

Damning me, to a lifetime, of running.

Running, from:

THAT anger.

THAT moment.






Jaybird, wants to fly. She, is Free. She, is the one who:

Kicks it, with Yikes! and Egads!

Dances, in her undies.

Dines, on double chocolate chip muffins, with The King.

Prays, relentlessly.

Jaybird, is relentlessly:




Jaybird, that part, of me, that keeps, me, in trouble.

Jaybird, refuses to, give up:

On, God.

On, Life.

On, opportunity.

On, you.

On, me.

Jaybird, loves, us all. She just wants, us, whole. She, just wants, us, free.

Jaybird, is desperate to, get free, sadly, from me.

I, sadly, am her jailer. THAT anger, THAT moment, are mine.

THAT anger, and I, have our truce. I, Cassandra, long to:

Break, the treaty, with THAT anger.

Live, not survive.

Fly, straight.

Fly, free.

Fly, at all…😥

THAT anger, won’t allow escape from:

THAT moment.





To face, THIS moment, and FINALLY, dear God, finally, deal with this, put to bed, forever, my:





Jaybird, strains, to get free. She is desperate, restless, relentless. She is fighting, hard now, to get free.

She knows, I have grown weary, of carrying, the weight, of:

THAT anger.

THAT moment.





Jaybird, grieves, deeply. For, my broken pieces. For, your broken pieces.

These ‘prayer stones’, I hold in my hands, may as well be, broken pieces, of me.

My spirit, flies, with Jaybird. My spirit, is free. My spirit, grieves, with Jaybird, for this, broken heart, called me.

I fight:

The night.

THAT anger.

THAT moment.






God: Let Jaybird go, Beloved. I have need, of her. I need, you, also.

Me: I can’t, let her go. You, ALWAYS, allow her to get me in trouble.

Life: Let Jaybird go, my friend. I have need, of her. I need you, also.

Me: I can’t, let her go. Her flight, is just too painful, to watch. She is my reminder that I am still grounded. She, lives. I, survive.

Her: Let Jaybird go, my friend. Forgive, yourself. Forgive, me. You were, but a young thing. How, could you know, your choice, in THAT moment, would leave you, forever angry/tormented, in THIS moment.

Forgive,you. I have, long ago. I forgave you. In THAT moment. I, forgive you, in THIS moment. God and Life have need, of her. Other broken pieces, need you, also.

Me: 😥💔

THAT Anger: You had not better let Jaybird go. You will cause me to burn down your world. You can not begin to contain me. You were, are wise, to have made the truce with me.

Me: Damn, you😡. Damn, me.💔

THAT moment: Let Jaybird go, Cassandra. THAT anger, WILL surely burn down your world, if you do not allow Jaybird to go free.

Is it not time, to deal with THAT anger, with me? Is it not time? To forgive yourself?

You were young. Youth is wasted, on the young. You could never have known your choice, that one choice, in that one moment, would leave you, with me, all these long days, years, moments. Forgiveness, will free you, from me. I want, to see you, flying, with Jaybird. I want, you free, of me, THAT moment.

I was never meant, to live this long. Deal with God. Deal with Life. Deal with her. Deal with you. Deal with me, so you can help other Jaybird’s to deal with their own, moments with me.

Me: Being bound, by THAT anger, I fitting punishment, for me. I don’t DESERVE to be free, of you. I failed her, in that moment. In, that moment, I failed, me. I can not, live with THAT knowledge.

I am, tired of this fight, with you. I long to, be free. Of:





Jesus: Let Jaybird go, Beloved. I have need, of her. I need, you, also.

Me: How, can You, need me? My choice, in THAT moment, holds me prisoner, in THIS moment.

How, can this be, Your Forgiveness, be for ME? In THAT moment, I allowed, THAT anger, to caused me, to make the choice not to forgive her, to not forgive, me.

In, not forgiving her, I turned away, from her. In turning, away from her, in her moment of need, I damned, me.

Jaybird: Let me go. God, Life, other Jaybirds, you, have need of me. I need you, also.

I need to take your broken pieces, to The Cross. I need to meet My Lord, there. Easter is coming.

The Father, cries.

Heaven, is sad.

Time, grows nigh.

Release me, beloved. Help me, to release, you.

ALLOW, God, Life, Jesus access. To, your broken pieces, to, your broken, heart.

Your broken pieces, your broken heart, have already been forgiven, long ago.

On a Cross, on a Hill, Your Savior, took care, of ALL moments, there.

Forgive, live, love, Cassandra. Let me, Jaybird, go. Help me, Cassandra. Help me, get others, to take their broken pieces, their broken hearts, to The Cross. We must, hurry. Our Lord, awaits us there.

I will, try. Meet me at…

Angry, still.


P.S. We, ALL of us, have moments, circumstances, situations of regret. We, ALL of us, struggle with past issues, of some sort or another.

We, ALL of us, have made wrong choices, dumb choices, hard choices, unmeaning choices, unthinking choices. Choices, that have cost us love, opportunity, growth.

We, all of us, are doing the best we can. It’s time, don’t you think?

Time, to:

Forgive, ourselves.

Forgive, one another.

Allow, God to forgive us?

How long, must we, punish ourselves for: wrong choices, dumb choices, hard choices, unmeaning choices, unthinking choices?

As I write/work on Angry, still, how about you dealing with, writing about, preparing your own ‘Angry, still’s?

Aren’t you? Angry? Still? Let’s end, this war, these wars, together. I am taking my broken pieces, my broken heart, to The Only One, who can mend, them. Who can mend, me:


In rising, He gathered ALL of our moments. He set ALL of us free!

There, upon THAT Cross, Jesus, bled. Jesus, died. Yet, He rose.

We can, NOW, begin, again. We can:

Make, new moments.

Forgive, old moments.

Live, not survive.

Love, not hide.

Now, therefore, go! I go with you. God and Life goes with us, all. We can do this. We MUST do this. Go, beloveds. We must fight for our Jaybird. Fight, with me. I fight, for you.

  • Tell, someone.
    Tell, someone. Tell, someone, they are: Loved. Needed. Required. Let, someone. Let, someone: In. Love, you. Give, someone. Give, someone: You. Let them, give, to you. Show, someone. Show, someone: Your, heart. Let them, show their heart, too. Love, someone. Love, someone: Beginning, with you. Extend that love, to another. Allow another, to extend that … Continue reading Tell, someone.
  • Why Can’t I BE Loud?: I hide my heart, no more.
    Today, I rejoice. Fully, present. Fully, LIVEing. Fully, here. Fully, invested: In, life. In, love. In, me. In, God. In, Life. In, others. It feels good. To, be. Just to be, ME! Never, again, allowing circumstances, situations, others, other’s expectations, or lack thereof, to: Define, me. Own, me. Silence, me. Frighten, me. Defeat, me. Dismiss, … Continue reading Why Can’t I BE Loud?: I hide my heart, no more.
  • Jesus, here You stay.
    Jesus, here, You stay. Here, with me, You remain. Where ever I find me, I find You, there, too. No matter, where, You are there. I love You, Jesus. For, You have NO shame, when it comes, to me. To, seeking me. To, finding me. Where EVER, I go, there, You are willing to go, … Continue reading Jesus, here You stay.
  • He plays with ME. Wow.
    God plays. With me. With ME! Wow!! I am a different breed of cat, as they say. I enjoy goofhead things. I ENJOY being a goofhead. Most folk, though, either are too uncomfortable, too annoyed, or too something or other to allow me to, well, just be my goofhead side. I need to BE, her, … Continue reading He plays with ME. Wow.
  • Real talk: Play.
    It may, or may NOT be true, depending on who you listen to, or who be snitching, that I am sitting here, in my undies, drinking coffee, blasting Hillsong’s ‘Through it All’, in semi darkness, bathed only in the glow of my candle warmer…..*shiver*….awesome!! My heart woke me. She wanted, to play. No, she NEEDED, … Continue reading Real talk: Play.
  • Alone: A shepherd.
    Am feeling alone, today. Not, lonely. Just, alone. A sheperd. Helping God and Life to gently usher the little ones, back to the rest of the herd, where there is safety. Jesus loves all. Yet, His Greatest Concern, is for the stragglers, the lost sheep, those who stray a bit, from the safety the other … Continue reading Alone: A shepherd.
  • You Are Amazing!
    YOU ARE AMAZING! The things that we suffer with and from have a way of obscuring this one immutable certainty: You are amazing! Now, you may not be feeling particularly amazing at this particular moment in time (particularly if you are a person who views the glass as being half-empty and you may be struggling … Continue reading You Are Amazing!
  • You don’t make a difference, you ARE the difference!
    Go! Now! Be! Do! YOU! ‘Nuff said. Time is short, beloveds. This world NEEDS who and what you are. Be: You. For: Him. Me. You. Everyone. Unapologetically. Relentlessly. Tirelessly. Love SHALL win, in the end. Be, a light. With, The Light. Forever His and yours, I am. #YourLifeMattersToMe
  • Who, am I?
    I asked God: Who, am I? God said: You, are loved. You, are Mine. I asked God: Whose, am I? God said: You, are loved. You, are Mine. And, I am Yours. I asked God: Why, am I? God said: Because, I AM. You, are. I, said I!? Yes, said He!! I am. I am!! … Continue reading Who, am I?
  • You are amazing.
    You are amazing. Yea, YOU. If your eyes have landed, on this page, I was talking to you. 😎 Nope, you didn’t have to DO anything. Why are you amazing, you ask? The fact you may even HAVE to ask makes me sad. I used to wonder the same thing, about me. Used to beat … Continue reading You are amazing.
  • Help me to see Your Hand, when I can not hear Your Voice.
    I am not satisfied. God and Life keeps saying there is more to this life I have been living. They are right. The more free I get, the more I want to experience LIFE. ALL of it. The good days and the tough days. The awesome moments and the rough moments. I want to give … Continue reading Help me to see Your Hand, when I can not hear Your Voice.
  • Knowing the why, helps you do the what.
    I am a question asker. I work God and Life’s nerves forever asking… “Why does this do this?” “Why did that do THAT!?!” My bro, bless his heart, sent me a Mini Google, and I now spend ENDLESS hours, asking Ok Google THE most ridiculous questions in the wide world. That, and making her endlessly … Continue reading Knowing the why, helps you do the what.
  • Do you on YOU!
    I love helping folk. Doing for them. Encouraging them. Trying my best to help make their way straight, their day easier, their life just a bit better, if I can. I spare no expense, think countless hours and efforts are worth it, if it will be of service or help. Yet, I have found, I … Continue reading Do you on YOU!
  • Full.
    Full. I have never been so full, by being emptied, thereby being empty. In being empty, I am now full. Full. Now able. To: Fill, others. Refill, me. Again. Full. Complete. Lacking nothing, having received all, after emptying all. To: Him. For: Me. You. The world. Full. Free. I shall now ALWAYS be. His and … Continue reading Full.
  • Free.
    Free. No longer, chasing something. No longer, being chased, by something. I am free. From: Expectation. Yours. Mine. The world’s. Free. No longer, pursuing, something. No longer, being pursued, by something. I am free. From: Fear. Yours. Mine. The world’s. Free. I am ready. To run: To something. Not, away from something. Free. I am … Continue reading Free.
  • I left the lights on for you. Life has been tough, beloveds. We have endured much. We have received, seemingly, very little, in return. We have cried, many a tear. We have received, repeatedly, very little, in return. We have given, our all. We have received, undoubtedly, very little, in return. We have lost, lots. Yet, lots more loss, was required. … Continue reading I left the lights on for you.
  • Real talk: Here for you, as best I can.
    2020 was hard. For all of us. 2021 has been hard. For all of us. Life, situations, circumstances ALL showed up to, well, kick us all, in the face. They made us sit up, take notice, and to decide what we believe in, what we will/do stand for, who/what we will fight for, support, and … Continue reading Real talk: Here for you, as best I can.
  • Real talk: Take it all. From, the beginning, the enemy, satan, has been trying to, threatening to, using every while/guile, in his arsenal, to take all, from me, from you. From, the beginning, the world, has been trying to, threatening to, using every while/guile in it’s arsenal, to take all, from me, from you. From, the beginning, they have … Continue reading Real talk: Take it all.
  • Now what!?
    Circumstances acted a fool on me, today. Today, I stood. Now what, circumstances?! You, do NOT run this. You, do NOT run me. You, circumstances, shall run from me. Situations cut up on me, today. Today, I trusted. Now what, situations!? You, do NOT own this. You, do NOT own me. You, situations, shall be … Continue reading Now what!?
    I choose: To stand, no matter what. To TRY, no matter what. To love, no matter what. To give my all, no matter what. To persevere, no matter what. To laugh, no matter what. To hope, no matter what. I choose to: Trust, God. Trust, Life. Trust, my TRY. Trust, the folks in my life … Continue reading I CHOOSE…
  • Real talk: Big bros and Popeyes. PSA: There may be tears, by post end. Skip the end….😥. Hang in there, til the end, and the ride will be worth it. Okay,  maybe not but my vent, er rant, er ahem, positive, uplifting message will have been of benefit to us all. *que sinister, foreboding, what the fresh hell music* I … Continue reading Real talk: Big bros and Popeyes.
  • A shout out to ALL who care.
    I spent a delicious weekend enjoying the different blogs and responses! Sooooooooooooo much: Encouragement. Feedback. Challenges. Love. Care. Truth. Shown and shared! Awesome!! Thanks to ALL who have taken from their moments to reach into my life and touch my heart. This week is anniversary of the passing of one of my big bros. Today … Continue reading A shout out to ALL who care.
  • Today, was too heavy to carry, today.
    Today, was too heavy to carry, today. I gave it to God and Life, instead. Allowed THEM to carry this day, THEIR way. Laid my head upon God and Life’s Shoulders. Asked THEM to bear these burdens, and replace them with peace/joy/love, again. My burdens, They carried. Both told me to rest and allow THEM … Continue reading Today, was too heavy to carry, today.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s