My twin sister, calls my blog posts, Pieces.
I like this. Seems, fitting. Seems, dignified.
Only, I no longer, believe in, pieces.
Real talk: I no longer, believe in, MY pieces.
I feel, broken, into, pieces.
A million, pieces, in fact, based upon, one moment.
One moment, that caused me to:
Moment, to be:
After THAT moment, 35 years ago, I no longer:
I, especially, don’t trust:
I, no longer trust them:
Trust, that I will:
Do, right by them.
I, no longer, believe:
Will, do right by:
I, no longer, trust in:
All, because of ONE moment, in time, 35 years ago.
A moment, I never moved passed.
Now, I can not, move forward, to make more, life-altering moments. I failed her, I feel, in THAT moment. I feel, that I failed, ME, in that moment.
One,moment, that took only but a moment to do, has caused me to run, from a lifetime, of other moments.
I, fear failing:
Which, leads me, right back, to the question I have been asking, all week.
For, the last 35 years, really:
Father, WHAT, do I, DO? Now, that it’s time, and I am, now:
Just, not ready?
I find myself shattered, in a million pieces.
If ,you have been reading my pieces, you will have, hopefully, noticed these last pieces have been:
In writing style.
Too many, commas, here.
Colons, out of place, there.
This, has, been, intentional.
We like things, in order. We like to read things, in a flow. Our brains need this logic.
I wanted to, needed to, jar you from thinking. Needed to get you:
While your brain was trying to figure out ‘what in the fresh hell’, I have been trying, to get you, to get your heart, to feel.
My heart, is in pieces.
Your heart, is in pieces.
This is fitting, as we are all:
God’s Pieces. We were all meant, to fit together.
We were called to live together. To, love together.
Because, we are, all of, us broken, in pieces.
Because of, this, reason.
Due to, that, person.
So, we fight.
Break, each other.
Into, a million pieces.
Pieces, that, no longer:
We, find ourselves, now, in a box, fighting one another.
Breaking each other, into a million divisive pieces.
We, are all, now, shattered.
Treating, each other, as if we really, don’t matter.
We are all, now, devastated.
Like a bomb, shattered.
Into, a million pieces.
All, from running, from moments.
Moments, where we:
Broke, the heart of another.
Our hearts, were broken:
By, the heart of another.
Moments, where we chose:
Moments where we:
When we should have, stayed.
When, we should have, walked away.
I, have learned, that:
In standing, even when it has been:
Your heart, can be shattered:
In, a million pieces.
Yet, your spirit, can be:
For, your spirit, now stands on the solid foundation of:
God’s Deep and Abiding Love, for you.
God loves us. Wants us whole. It is why, He pursues me, Relentlessly.
Why, I, in turn, pursue you relentlessly.
I want you, whole.
Free, to love:
Time grows short:
If, you will, allow yourself, to see past, your own, broken pieces. And, allow yourself, to touch another soul’s, broken pieces. You, will begin, to heal your own, pieces.
You, connecting, with, me.
Me, connecting, with, you.
Broken, pieces, forming a new, piece.
We are the world.
We are HIS World.
We are ONE.
I, no longer, believe, in these pieces, my pieces.
Nevertheless, God believes, in my pieces. He believes, in me. He loves, me.
However, I know my disbelief, is but from the broken pieces, that God is, even now, healing, in me.
It is good to see you, both. I have need of you. The God, of This Universe, loves ME! Even, with my broken pieces. Yikes! Egads! Amazing!
Beloveds, time grows short. There are so many people, walking around, in pieces.
Feeling as if they, don’t matter. They DO, matter. Their lives, matter. Their lives, matter, to me. Your life, matters. Your life, matters, to me.
Even though, I have no earthly idea, if these pieces, MY pieces, my life, matters, to you. I offer, these pieces, my pieces, to you. In the hope that you will allow, God, to take, your pieces, and make you whole.
Praying for you til you are:
Home(with Dad, Life, Yikes!, and Egads!).
- Keep showing up!Monday. Again! *sigh*. Time. Time to start over. Again. Time, to show up. Again. Time. Time, to choose the starting line. Again. Time. Time, to wonder: Will today be the day where we get to win, finally? Will today be the day where we lose, yet again? Will today be the day where we give … Continue reading Keep showing up!
- Your efforts were NOT done in vain.Your efforts, your striving, your TRYing has NOT been in vain. Yes, it seems as though your efforts have come to naught. Yea, the struggle still feels like a struggle and humungous waste of time. Yea, the silence, the world, circumstances, situations all seem to be wondering why on earth you have not given up … Continue reading Your efforts were NOT done in vain.
- Your TRY is needed.Your TRY is needed. Your TRY is crucial. Your TRY causes others to want to try. Your TRY causes Heaven to try harder, on your behalf. Your TRY is changing lives, is changing your own. Even, when you can’t see, the outcome. ESPECIALLY, when you can’t see it. See, God and Life don’t want you … Continue reading Your TRY is needed.
- Real talk: stay PRESENT.“I have NO idea how I am going to make it to Friday!” That’s what I told my wombie, last night. ALL I saw was THREE MORE DAYS of existing, when I had barely scraped through Tuesday. Friday seemed so faaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr awwwwaaaayyyy!!! Just thinking about it had me despairing….hmm…… AHA!!!! Instead of staying, PRESENT, I … Continue reading Real talk: stay PRESENT.
- Put your hands together for YOU!Put your hands together! For YOU! YOU keep stepping up! YOU keep showing out! No matter what. No matter how. No matter where. YOU ARE STILL HERE!! Put your hands together, for YOU. YOU are fighting, still. YOU are TRYing, still. YOU are living, still. YOU are striving, still. Put your hands together, for YOU. … Continue reading Put your hands together for YOU!
- You are……loved. Seen. Heard. Valued. Take time to cherish YOU, today. Life is short. Yea, it hurts, at time. Much too short, though, to waste too much of it on regrets, whatifs and omygoodnesses. If you have been going through a rough patch, take a deep breath, tilt your head back and say…..ha! I got this!! … Continue reading You are…
- Broken pieces: You are NOT your pain.Broken pieces: You are NOT your pain. I have been trying to write this piece, since April. Today seems fitting, somehow. Had to scrape my way, out of bed. Forced myself, to STAY at work. Dammit! Sunday is Father’s Day. I BARELY made it, through Mother’s Day, in one piece. Still, I stood. This last … Continue reading Broken pieces: You are NOT your pain.
- I am……enough. You are… …enough. We are all… …enough. I am… …loved. You are… …loved. We are all… …loved. God loves… …me. God loves… …you. God loves… …us all. ‘Nuff said. 😎❤ Cassandra LOVED
- When loss is not a loss.I miss my mom. I miss my dad. I miss my brother. Could go on, but will stop with them. Have been fighting the good fight, being a good daughter, good sister, hard worker, supportive friend. Exhausting. I want to not have to be those people, to have to do those things. Took out the … Continue reading When loss is not a loss.
- In this day.Good Morning. Yes, it IS good. You are here. STILL. You fought the night, to get to today, and won. The day, is yours, to use as you please. You only get one. Use it wisely. Laugh, in this day. Love, in this day. Spend some time with God, in this day. Chop it up … Continue reading In this day.
- Believe!https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYwSKZ8D1oM&feature=share Believe. Believe! BELIEVE!! Believe, in yourself. Believe, in your future. Believe, love IS for you. Believe, your dreams ARE attainable and worth having. Believe, you will make it. Believe, you CAN. Believe, you WILL!! Believe, ALL things really do work together FOR YOUR GOOD. Believe, you are MORE than a conqueror, through HIM, who … Continue reading Believe!
- Real talk: HIS Handwriting Part III was writing, yes, using my own ugly handwriting, this morning. It is both easy, and hard, to do. Okay, not easy. Hard. Why? This is what I wrote: I was thinking about blogging about my handwriting. The more I ‘write’, the more I look at my “ugly” handwriting, the more I am forced to … Continue reading Real talk: HIS Handwriting Part II
- Hope ALWAYS wins!How great is that!? Don’t EVER allow yourself to turn loose of your hope. Hang in there. Someone needed this message. Hang in there. You got this. Cassandra HOPEFUL STILL #YourLifeMattersToMe 😎
- Celebrate you.https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=z6DhNR3eO0U&feature=share Look at you! Go on ‘head, with yo bad self!! Strut your stuff. 💃 Take a bow. You livin’, beloved. You doin’ you. You handlin’ yo life bidnezz!! Yassssssss! Look at you! You have: Refused, to give up. Refused, to give in. You have: Loved: Hard: No matter the cost. No matter the why. … Continue reading Celebrate you.
- Time to dance!!https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=Gjfs3rSIpIQ&feature=share Time to dance, beloveds!🔥💃❤ Ran the dishwasher. Turned on the lights. Loved somebody. Loved ourselves. Yasssss! We have shouted, into the void, and have won. Time to dance. Dancing with you, Cassandra LOVED 😎
- Sometimes, you just have to turn on the lights and start the dishwasher.Egads! Yikes! May and June can be rough, at times. Time I dodge, get through, the Mother’s Day bullet, here comes, the Father’s Day bullet…*sigh*. During, these weeks, I suck it up butter cup, I pull myself up by the bootstraps, I keep on keeping on, and all the other blasted sayings one says to … Continue reading Sometimes, you just have to turn on the lights and start the dishwasher.
- Rely on Your Help.https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=WJJcemwPMYM&feature=share One of THE most awesome things to hanging out with God is when life is super tough, and you don’t think you can make it not even one more step, He steps in and is right there, with us. That is, IF we remember to reach out, for help, for support, for love, when … Continue reading Rely on Your Help.
- Stillborn dreams.I’m tired. Tired of shouting into the void. That’s what I told God and Life, yesterday. And, the day before that. And, the day before that. I shout into the void. I wait. I wait. I wait. I wait. The day, turns into the night… The void has mocked me. ALL day. The void says … Continue reading Stillborn dreams.
- Turn your comfort food into a meal with The King.I admit it. I have been upset, ALL day. Missing mom. Exhausted from doing a new job I don’t know how to do. On top of all this, I have to live and not survive. Can’t hide behind distraction. Can’t keep my dammed feelings in a drawer where only God and Life can see. Am … Continue reading Turn your comfort food into a meal with The King.
- Show your heart.Life can be hard. So much so can get easy to want to hide. From, Life. From, yourself. From, folks who love and care for you. Don’t: Hide. Do: Show your heart. Your heart is: Beautiful. Wonderous. Amazing. Needed! Your heart contains too much love and goodness to keep it locked away. Yea, there have … Continue reading Show your heart.
- I miss you, mom.I miss you, mom. I’m trying, mom. Trying to be a big girl. Trying to do what’s right. Trying to live right. To do right. Trying to love folk as you did. You cared about folk. Gave them your last. Would give every dime I have just to see your face again. Think I will … Continue reading I miss you, mom.
- Your time WILL come.Waiting, on anything, can get hard at times. Waiting, on life-changing things, can be: Agonizing. Frustrating. Annoying! Hurry up already and get here!!! Feels like we are in a blasted waiting room, doesn’t it? I HATE WAITING ROOMS!!! *pout *…*sigh*… Seems like nothing good comes from waiting. What the world is up with all this … Continue reading Your time WILL come.
- Tell frustration and in the meantime to go kick some rocks!https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=rmLs1Cu-DEA&feature=share In the meantime… IN THE MEANTIME!! Those three words! Ack! They can be: Maddening. Frustrating. Discouraging. IF. Ah, if… In the meantime, can ONLY be frustrating, maddening, discouraging ONLY if we allow the natural waiting, of life, to be so. God and Life desires that we ENJOY this life. ALL of it. The exciting … Continue reading Tell frustration and in the meantime to go kick some rocks!