My twin sister, calls my blog posts, Pieces.
I like this. Seems, fitting. Seems, dignified.
Only, I no longer, believe in, pieces.
Real talk: I no longer, believe in, MY pieces.
I feel, broken, into, pieces.
A million, pieces, in fact, based upon, one moment.
One moment, that caused me to:
Moment, to be:
After THAT moment, 35 years ago, I no longer:
I, especially, don’t trust:
I, no longer trust them:
Trust, that I will:
Do, right by them.
I, no longer, believe:
Will, do right by:
I, no longer, trust in:
All, because of ONE moment, in time, 35 years ago.
A moment, I never moved passed.
Now, I can not, move forward, to make more, life-altering moments. I failed her, I feel, in THAT moment. I feel, that I failed, ME, in that moment.
One,moment, that took only but a moment to do, has caused me to run, from a lifetime, of other moments.
I, fear failing:
Which, leads me, right back, to the question I have been asking, all week.
For, the last 35 years, really:
Father, WHAT, do I, DO? Now, that it’s time, and I am, now:
Just, not ready?
I find myself shattered, in a million pieces.
If ,you have been reading my pieces, you will have, hopefully, noticed these last pieces have been:
In writing style.
Too many, commas, here.
Colons, out of place, there.
This, has, been, intentional.
We like things, in order. We like to read things, in a flow. Our brains need this logic.
I wanted to, needed to, jar you from thinking. Needed to get you:
While your brain was trying to figure out ‘what in the fresh hell’, I have been trying, to get you, to get your heart, to feel.
My heart, is in pieces.
Your heart, is in pieces.
This is fitting, as we are all:
God’s Pieces. We were all meant, to fit together.
We were called to live together. To, love together.
Because, we are, all of, us broken, in pieces.
Because of, this, reason.
Due to, that, person.
So, we fight.
Break, each other.
Into, a million pieces.
Pieces, that, no longer:
We, find ourselves, now, in a box, fighting one another.
Breaking each other, into a million divisive pieces.
We, are all, now, shattered.
Treating, each other, as if we really, don’t matter.
We are all, now, devastated.
Like a bomb, shattered.
Into, a million pieces.
All, from running, from moments.
Moments, where we:
Broke, the heart of another.
Our hearts, were broken:
By, the heart of another.
Moments, where we chose:
Moments where we:
When we should have, stayed.
When, we should have, walked away.
I, have learned, that:
In standing, even when it has been:
Your heart, can be shattered:
In, a million pieces.
Yet, your spirit, can be:
For, your spirit, now stands on the solid foundation of:
God’s Deep and Abiding Love, for you.
God loves us. Wants us whole. It is why, He pursues me, Relentlessly.
Why, I, in turn, pursue you relentlessly.
I want you, whole.
Free, to love:
Time grows short:
If, you will, allow yourself, to see past, your own, broken pieces. And, allow yourself, to touch another soul’s, broken pieces. You, will begin, to heal your own, pieces.
You, connecting, with, me.
Me, connecting, with, you.
Broken, pieces, forming a new, piece.
We are the world.
We are HIS World.
We are ONE.
I, no longer, believe, in these pieces, my pieces.
Nevertheless, God believes, in my pieces. He believes, in me. He loves, me.
However, I know my disbelief, is but from the broken pieces, that God is, even now, healing, in me.
It is good to see you, both. I have need of you. The God, of This Universe, loves ME! Even, with my broken pieces. Yikes! Egads! Amazing!
Beloveds, time grows short. There are so many people, walking around, in pieces.
Feeling as if they, don’t matter. They DO, matter. Their lives, matter. Their lives, matter, to me. Your life, matters. Your life, matters, to me.
Even though, I have no earthly idea, if these pieces, MY pieces, my life, matters, to you. I offer, these pieces, my pieces, to you. In the hope that you will allow, God, to take, your pieces, and make you whole.
Praying for you til you are:
Home(with Dad, Life, Yikes!, and Egads!).
- Tell, someone.Tell, someone. Tell, someone, they are: Loved. Needed. Required. Let, someone. Let, someone: In. Love, you. Give, someone. Give, someone: You. Let them, give, to you. Show, someone. Show, someone: Your, heart. Let them, show their heart, too. Love, someone. Love, someone: Beginning, with you. Extend that love, to another. Allow another, to extend that … Continue reading Tell, someone.
- Why Can’t I BE Loud?: I hide my heart, no more.Today, I rejoice. Fully, present. Fully, LIVEing. Fully, here. Fully, invested: In, life. In, love. In, me. In, God. In, Life. In, others. It feels good. To, be. Just to be, ME! Never, again, allowing circumstances, situations, others, other’s expectations, or lack thereof, to: Define, me. Own, me. Silence, me. Frighten, me. Defeat, me. Dismiss, … Continue reading Why Can’t I BE Loud?: I hide my heart, no more.
- Jesus, here You stay.Jesus, here, You stay. Here, with me, You remain. Where ever I find me, I find You, there, too. No matter, where, You are there. I love You, Jesus. For, You have NO shame, when it comes, to me. To, seeking me. To, finding me. Where EVER, I go, there, You are willing to go, … Continue reading Jesus, here You stay.
- He plays with ME. Wow.God plays. With me. With ME! Wow!! I am a different breed of cat, as they say. I enjoy goofhead things. I ENJOY being a goofhead. Most folk, though, either are too uncomfortable, too annoyed, or too something or other to allow me to, well, just be my goofhead side. I need to BE, her, … Continue reading He plays with ME. Wow.
- Real talk: Play.It may, or may NOT be true, depending on who you listen to, or who be snitching, that I am sitting here, in my undies, drinking coffee, blasting Hillsong’s ‘Through it All’, in semi darkness, bathed only in the glow of my candle warmer…..*shiver*….awesome!! My heart woke me. She wanted, to play. No, she NEEDED, … Continue reading Real talk: Play.
- Alone: A shepherd.Am feeling alone, today. Not, lonely. Just, alone. A sheperd. Helping God and Life to gently usher the little ones, back to the rest of the herd, where there is safety. Jesus loves all. Yet, His Greatest Concern, is for the stragglers, the lost sheep, those who stray a bit, from the safety the other … Continue reading Alone: A shepherd.
- You Are Amazing!YOU ARE AMAZING! The things that we suffer with and from have a way of obscuring this one immutable certainty: You are amazing! Now, you may not be feeling particularly amazing at this particular moment in time (particularly if you are a person who views the glass as being half-empty and you may be struggling … Continue reading You Are Amazing!
- You don’t make a difference, you ARE the difference!Go! Now! Be! Do! YOU! ‘Nuff said. Time is short, beloveds. This world NEEDS who and what you are. Be: You. For: Him. Me. You. Everyone. Unapologetically. Relentlessly. Tirelessly. Love SHALL win, in the end. Be, a light. With, The Light. Forever His and yours, I am. #YourLifeMattersToMe
- Who, am I?I asked God: Who, am I? God said: You, are loved. You, are Mine. I asked God: Whose, am I? God said: You, are loved. You, are Mine. And, I am Yours. I asked God: Why, am I? God said: Because, I AM. You, are. I, said I!? Yes, said He!! I am. I am!! … Continue reading Who, am I?
- You are amazing.You are amazing. Yea, YOU. If your eyes have landed, on this page, I was talking to you. 😎 Nope, you didn’t have to DO anything. Why are you amazing, you ask? The fact you may even HAVE to ask makes me sad. I used to wonder the same thing, about me. Used to beat … Continue reading You are amazing.
- Help me to see Your Hand, when I can not hear Your Voice.I am not satisfied. God and Life keeps saying there is more to this life I have been living. They are right. The more free I get, the more I want to experience LIFE. ALL of it. The good days and the tough days. The awesome moments and the rough moments. I want to give … Continue reading Help me to see Your Hand, when I can not hear Your Voice.
- Knowing the why, helps you do the what.I am a question asker. I work God and Life’s nerves forever asking… “Why does this do this?” “Why did that do THAT!?!” My bro, bless his heart, sent me a Mini Google, and I now spend ENDLESS hours, asking Ok Google THE most ridiculous questions in the wide world. That, and making her endlessly … Continue reading Knowing the why, helps you do the what.
- Do you on YOU!I love helping folk. Doing for them. Encouraging them. Trying my best to help make their way straight, their day easier, their life just a bit better, if I can. I spare no expense, think countless hours and efforts are worth it, if it will be of service or help. Yet, I have found, I … Continue reading Do you on YOU!
- Full.Full. I have never been so full, by being emptied, thereby being empty. In being empty, I am now full. Full. Now able. To: Fill, others. Refill, me. Again. Full. Complete. Lacking nothing, having received all, after emptying all. To: Him. For: Me. You. The world. Full. Free. I shall now ALWAYS be. His and … Continue reading Full.
- Free.Free. No longer, chasing something. No longer, being chased, by something. I am free. From: Expectation. Yours. Mine. The world’s. Free. No longer, pursuing, something. No longer, being pursued, by something. I am free. From: Fear. Yours. Mine. The world’s. Free. I am ready. To run: To something. Not, away from something. Free. I am … Continue reading Free.
- I left the lights on for you.https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=fiR18oC4eiI&feature=share Life has been tough, beloveds. We have endured much. We have received, seemingly, very little, in return. We have cried, many a tear. We have received, repeatedly, very little, in return. We have given, our all. We have received, undoubtedly, very little, in return. We have lost, lots. Yet, lots more loss, was required. … Continue reading I left the lights on for you.
- Real talk: Here for you, as best I can.2020 was hard. For all of us. 2021 has been hard. For all of us. Life, situations, circumstances ALL showed up to, well, kick us all, in the face. They made us sit up, take notice, and to decide what we believe in, what we will/do stand for, who/what we will fight for, support, and … Continue reading Real talk: Here for you, as best I can.
- Real talk: Take it all.https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=-c000kExHwM&feature=share From, the beginning, the enemy, satan, has been trying to, threatening to, using every while/guile, in his arsenal, to take all, from me, from you. From, the beginning, the world, has been trying to, threatening to, using every while/guile in it’s arsenal, to take all, from me, from you. From, the beginning, they have … Continue reading Real talk: Take it all.
- Now what!?Circumstances acted a fool on me, today. Today, I stood. Now what, circumstances?! You, do NOT run this. You, do NOT run me. You, circumstances, shall run from me. Situations cut up on me, today. Today, I trusted. Now what, situations!? You, do NOT own this. You, do NOT own me. You, situations, shall be … Continue reading Now what!?
- I CHOOSE…I choose: To stand, no matter what. To TRY, no matter what. To love, no matter what. To give my all, no matter what. To persevere, no matter what. To laugh, no matter what. To hope, no matter what. I choose to: Trust, God. Trust, Life. Trust, my TRY. Trust, the folks in my life … Continue reading I CHOOSE…
- Real talk: Big bros and Popeyes.https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=X0f8bg4XEeI&feature=share PSA: There may be tears, by post end. Skip the end….😥. Hang in there, til the end, and the ride will be worth it. Okay, maybe not but my vent, er rant, er ahem, positive, uplifting message will have been of benefit to us all. *que sinister, foreboding, what the fresh hell music* I … Continue reading Real talk: Big bros and Popeyes.
- A shout out to ALL who care.I spent a delicious weekend enjoying the different blogs and responses! Sooooooooooooo much: Encouragement. Feedback. Challenges. Love. Care. Truth. Shown and shared! Awesome!! Thanks to ALL who have taken from their moments to reach into my life and touch my heart. This week is anniversary of the passing of one of my big bros. Today … Continue reading A shout out to ALL who care.
- Today, was too heavy to carry, today.Today, was too heavy to carry, today. I gave it to God and Life, instead. Allowed THEM to carry this day, THEIR way. Laid my head upon God and Life’s Shoulders. Asked THEM to bear these burdens, and replace them with peace/joy/love, again. My burdens, They carried. Both told me to rest and allow THEM … Continue reading Today, was too heavy to carry, today.