I was going to start this piece, and grew tired.
I am so tired.
Broken, I decided to lay down. To, try to sleep. My twin, my wombie, keeps begging me, to sleep.
I have been up, for a full week, now.
The Father, is weeping.
Heaven, is sad.
King Jesus, will, soon, be put to rest. In order, to be, resurrected. In order, to resurrect, us.
The Father, is Relentless.
The Father, tired of people:
Exhausted, I fell into bed. I began praying, for all of us. I prayed for God to help us. To help us, give Him, our pieces. Our broken hearts. To, Him. In order for Him to:
Bind, our wound.
Mend, our hearts.
Heal, our land.
I have a small bag of blue stones. I call them my ‘prayer stones’. I hold them. I think of people. I pray for them. Pray, and imagine each stone represents a piece, a broken heart. A, wounded, soul.
While, praying, while holding my ‘prayer stones’, my broken pieces, your broken pieces, I fell into a restless dream. This is what I saw:
There was a trial going on. A room, full of witnesses, all sharing their hearts, their stories, their struggles. They were telling them, to this judge. I could not see the judge. Only, the people. There were many. They were being filmed. They did not mind. In fact, they needed the cameras. They spoke directly to the cameras. Sharing their hearts, their thoughts.
Suddenly, the judge decided to have the cameras taken away. The witnesses, were distraught. I was, initially, dismayed. I grew very angry. This was unfair! So, very unfair! They had, the RIGHT, to be heard. They had, the absolute RIGHT, TO BE SEEN!
Angry, I jumped, over the rail, and entered the trial. I rushed, to the front, of the room. I confronted, the judge:
HOW, DARE YOU!
How, dare you, silence, these hearts, these voices. They, have the RIGHT, to speak, to be seen, to be heard. Let, them. Let them, speak!
That, this callous judge, had deemed their voices unworthy of being broadcast for all the world to see, to hear, to empathize with, to care for.
Before, I had leapt, there was this one woman. She had turned to the cameras and said how sad she would be to see them go. She said she had needed them. She said, they had helped her. She needed to be seen. She needed to be heard. Her look was desperate.
Desperate, she made me. Leaping, to her defense, I confronted this unseen judge, this uncaring judge.
The judge demanded I be silenced. He called, for strong men, to come, to take me, away. The judge was, now, trying to silence me.
I am not having this! I began yelling, at the top of lungs:
You will NOT silence me!
You will NOT, silence, these!
I tried to evade the men. I ran around the room. Screaming. Raging. I would NOT BE SILENCED!
Finally, the men encircled me, closed their rank. Eventually, they were close enough, to grab me.
They grabbed each arm. They began to drag me away.
The sound of my own voice, shouting I would not be silenced, the silent looks/screams, of all the witnesses, are what shook me, awake.
I, despaired. Knowing, I could not force people, to speak. I could not make them, bring their broken hearts, their broken pieces, to Jesus. To, The Father. To, The Cross.
Yet, I could, pray for them. I could hold, ‘my prayer stones’, my pieces, their pieces. I could bring us all, in prayer. To, Jesus. To, The Cross:
Jesus, I give You, these broken pieces. I give You, my pieces. I can not, give You, the broken pieces, the broken hearts, of others. I give to You, my ‘prayer stones’, in their stead.
Lord, I ask, that You:
Bind, our wound.
Mend, our hearts.
Heal, our land.
We are, all of us:
Lost, without You.
Decades ago, I gave You, my life. Today, I give You, my pieces. ALL of them. The ones I share with You, proudly. The ones, I share with You, with shame-filled eyes. Lord, I give You, me.
I am standing on God’s Word, on God’s CHARACTER, on God’s Deep and Abiding Love, for me.
I stand, before You, humbled by Your Grace, Your Love, Your Mercy.
I ask for, Your Justice. I ask for, Your Mercy.
Speak for me, King Jesus.
Speak, for them, Lord.
Speak, for us, us all.
NO man, NO judge, No authority, can shut Your Voice.
There is none, like You. There is none, who can, subdue You. There is none, beside You.
Bind, Mend, Heal, my broken pieces, their broken pieces. Speak, for us. Speak, with us. Speak, in us. Give us, the strength:
To, reach out.
These things, I ask, in Your Precious, Awesome, Mighty Name.
- Keep showing up!Monday. Again! *sigh*. Time. Time to start over. Again. Time, to show up. Again. Time. Time, to choose the starting line. Again. Time. Time, to wonder: Will today be the day where we get to win, finally? Will today be the day where we lose, yet again? Will today be the day where we give … Continue reading Keep showing up!
- Your efforts were NOT done in vain.Your efforts, your striving, your TRYing has NOT been in vain. Yes, it seems as though your efforts have come to naught. Yea, the struggle still feels like a struggle and humungous waste of time. Yea, the silence, the world, circumstances, situations all seem to be wondering why on earth you have not given up … Continue reading Your efforts were NOT done in vain.
- Your TRY is needed.Your TRY is needed. Your TRY is crucial. Your TRY causes others to want to try. Your TRY causes Heaven to try harder, on your behalf. Your TRY is changing lives, is changing your own. Even, when you can’t see, the outcome. ESPECIALLY, when you can’t see it. See, God and Life don’t want you … Continue reading Your TRY is needed.
- Real talk: stay PRESENT.“I have NO idea how I am going to make it to Friday!” That’s what I told my wombie, last night. ALL I saw was THREE MORE DAYS of existing, when I had barely scraped through Tuesday. Friday seemed so faaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr awwwwaaaayyyy!!! Just thinking about it had me despairing….hmm…… AHA!!!! Instead of staying, PRESENT, I … Continue reading Real talk: stay PRESENT.
- Put your hands together for YOU!Put your hands together! For YOU! YOU keep stepping up! YOU keep showing out! No matter what. No matter how. No matter where. YOU ARE STILL HERE!! Put your hands together, for YOU. YOU are fighting, still. YOU are TRYing, still. YOU are living, still. YOU are striving, still. Put your hands together, for YOU. … Continue reading Put your hands together for YOU!
- You are……loved. Seen. Heard. Valued. Take time to cherish YOU, today. Life is short. Yea, it hurts, at time. Much too short, though, to waste too much of it on regrets, whatifs and omygoodnesses. If you have been going through a rough patch, take a deep breath, tilt your head back and say…..ha! I got this!! … Continue reading You are…
- Broken pieces: You are NOT your pain.Broken pieces: You are NOT your pain. I have been trying to write this piece, since April. Today seems fitting, somehow. Had to scrape my way, out of bed. Forced myself, to STAY at work. Dammit! Sunday is Father’s Day. I BARELY made it, through Mother’s Day, in one piece. Still, I stood. This last … Continue reading Broken pieces: You are NOT your pain.
- I am……enough. You are… …enough. We are all… …enough. I am… …loved. You are… …loved. We are all… …loved. God loves… …me. God loves… …you. God loves… …us all. ‘Nuff said. 😎❤ Cassandra LOVED
- When loss is not a loss.I miss my mom. I miss my dad. I miss my brother. Could go on, but will stop with them. Have been fighting the good fight, being a good daughter, good sister, hard worker, supportive friend. Exhausting. I want to not have to be those people, to have to do those things. Took out the … Continue reading When loss is not a loss.
- In this day.Good Morning. Yes, it IS good. You are here. STILL. You fought the night, to get to today, and won. The day, is yours, to use as you please. You only get one. Use it wisely. Laugh, in this day. Love, in this day. Spend some time with God, in this day. Chop it up … Continue reading In this day.
- Believe!https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYwSKZ8D1oM&feature=share Believe. Believe! BELIEVE!! Believe, in yourself. Believe, in your future. Believe, love IS for you. Believe, your dreams ARE attainable and worth having. Believe, you will make it. Believe, you CAN. Believe, you WILL!! Believe, ALL things really do work together FOR YOUR GOOD. Believe, you are MORE than a conqueror, through HIM, who … Continue reading Believe!
- Real talk: HIS Handwriting Part III was writing, yes, using my own ugly handwriting, this morning. It is both easy, and hard, to do. Okay, not easy. Hard. Why? This is what I wrote: I was thinking about blogging about my handwriting. The more I ‘write’, the more I look at my “ugly” handwriting, the more I am forced to … Continue reading Real talk: HIS Handwriting Part II
- Hope ALWAYS wins!How great is that!? Don’t EVER allow yourself to turn loose of your hope. Hang in there. Someone needed this message. Hang in there. You got this. Cassandra HOPEFUL STILL #YourLifeMattersToMe 😎
- Celebrate you.https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=z6DhNR3eO0U&feature=share Look at you! Go on ‘head, with yo bad self!! Strut your stuff. 💃 Take a bow. You livin’, beloved. You doin’ you. You handlin’ yo life bidnezz!! Yassssssss! Look at you! You have: Refused, to give up. Refused, to give in. You have: Loved: Hard: No matter the cost. No matter the why. … Continue reading Celebrate you.
- Time to dance!!https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=Gjfs3rSIpIQ&feature=share Time to dance, beloveds!🔥💃❤ Ran the dishwasher. Turned on the lights. Loved somebody. Loved ourselves. Yasssss! We have shouted, into the void, and have won. Time to dance. Dancing with you, Cassandra LOVED 😎
- Sometimes, you just have to turn on the lights and start the dishwasher.Egads! Yikes! May and June can be rough, at times. Time I dodge, get through, the Mother’s Day bullet, here comes, the Father’s Day bullet…*sigh*. During, these weeks, I suck it up butter cup, I pull myself up by the bootstraps, I keep on keeping on, and all the other blasted sayings one says to … Continue reading Sometimes, you just have to turn on the lights and start the dishwasher.
- Rely on Your Help.https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=WJJcemwPMYM&feature=share One of THE most awesome things to hanging out with God is when life is super tough, and you don’t think you can make it not even one more step, He steps in and is right there, with us. That is, IF we remember to reach out, for help, for support, for love, when … Continue reading Rely on Your Help.
- Stillborn dreams.I’m tired. Tired of shouting into the void. That’s what I told God and Life, yesterday. And, the day before that. And, the day before that. I shout into the void. I wait. I wait. I wait. I wait. The day, turns into the night… The void has mocked me. ALL day. The void says … Continue reading Stillborn dreams.
- Turn your comfort food into a meal with The King.I admit it. I have been upset, ALL day. Missing mom. Exhausted from doing a new job I don’t know how to do. On top of all this, I have to live and not survive. Can’t hide behind distraction. Can’t keep my dammed feelings in a drawer where only God and Life can see. Am … Continue reading Turn your comfort food into a meal with The King.
- Show your heart.Life can be hard. So much so can get easy to want to hide. From, Life. From, yourself. From, folks who love and care for you. Don’t: Hide. Do: Show your heart. Your heart is: Beautiful. Wonderous. Amazing. Needed! Your heart contains too much love and goodness to keep it locked away. Yea, there have … Continue reading Show your heart.
- I miss you, mom.I miss you, mom. I’m trying, mom. Trying to be a big girl. Trying to do what’s right. Trying to live right. To do right. Trying to love folk as you did. You cared about folk. Gave them your last. Would give every dime I have just to see your face again. Think I will … Continue reading I miss you, mom.