Letter to God: Father, HOW did you know?

Dear God,

HOW did You know, I would make it, today?

How did You know, I would fall, today?

How did You know, I would run to You, today?

How did you Know, I would end my day, in triumph?

How did You know, I would win over my enemies pride and fear, today?

I was afraid, today, Father. Afraid, I would let you down. Afraid, I would let myself down, today. I have spent the week apologizing to you, apologizing for my temper tantrums.

I have not been angry, with You. Not really. I have not even been angry, with me. Not really. I just don’t want to let You down. I don’t want to let Life down. You Both have been so good to me. I want to be good to me.

I have much to make up to You, to Life, to me. Mostly, to me. The more freedom, I find in you, the more I realize all I had been keeping myself from, because of fear.

Fear of failing folks, Life, You, jobs, friends, family. The list is endless. I appreciate You and Life for helping me to get free of my own expectations. I thank You, Both, for helping me to free myself of the expectations of others. Yet, did others actually put those expectations upon me? Some, maybe.

Mostly, I think I maybe, perchance, kinda sorta assumed this is what was expected and required.

Thank You, for Your Word. Thank You, for Your CHARACTER. Mostly, thank You, for Your Deep and Abiding Love, for me.

Thank You, Dad, for loving me. Still. Always. Thank You, Father, for Your Faithfulness. Thanks, Abba, for being faithful even when I doubted in Your Faith, in me. All You have ever asked, have required, was for me to try. You just ask me to try. Today, You asked, knowing, I would fall, fail, try again, fall again, fail again.

Until, I didn’t fall. I stood. Until, I flew, dented. Until, I danced, through tears, in triumph.

Is this why You encouraged me to try? Did You know, I would end the day, in victory?

Is this why You whispered for me to try and stand. Just to TRY and stand. You did not berate me. You were in no hurry. You did not intervene. That is, until I tried.

The INSTANT, I tried, You swooped in. You took over. You showed up. You showed out. You were My Very Present Help, in my time of trouble. You made an open show to let the world KNOW, You had my back.

Not only, did You catch me, when I fell. You swooped me upon Your Strong Shoulders, and carried me for the rest of the day.

How did You know, I would end this day, being held tightly to Your Bosom? How did You know, I would draw close to You, and allow You to speak quietly, to my soul?

I appreciate Your staying quiet, today, to allow me to make my way to You. Like a small child, frightened, teetering on unsteady legs. Once, standing, running crookedly into Your Arms. My Home.

Thank You, My Precious Father, for becoming My Home. Thank You, for leading the way. Thank You, for waiting, patiently, for me, as I made my way, impatiently, to You.

I love You, Dad. Thank You, for loving me. Thank You, for showing Me that You are not in my life to sit in judgment upon me. You just sit with me. Loving me, still. Always. Amazing.

I’m sorry, Dad, I did not stand, immediately. Help me to understand You are not interested in how long it takes, how dignified/undignified, I stand. You just want to ensure I am standing on Firm Foundation: Your Word, Your CHARACTER, Your Deep and Abiding Love, for me.

Help me to help others to find their way, to make their way, home, to You. Help folk, to realize, You love and care for them. Help folk, to understand You desire nothing but to love them and safeguard their lives.

Finally, Dad, help folk to see You with a Crooked Crown. Approachable. Lovable. Call them, Dad, as You called me. Ask them, to try, Dad. Ask them. Some, may. And, in trying, rush in, swoop them upon Your Shoulders, whisper quietly, into each ear that will hear and receive Your Deep and Abiding Love for each and every one of us.

I am blessed, to be called Your Daughter. I am honored, You chose to love and care for me. All that I have, I offer to You. I serve, at YOUR pleasure. Even, when it’s hard. Especially, when it’s hard.

I love you, Father. I wish I could give You all You have given me. How can I give You the world that You have made?

Yours always,

Jaybird LOVED and FREE

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