Walk away, now.

Walk away, now.

Walk away, NOW!

WALK AWAY, NOW!!

These are the words that I spoke to my heart as I stood next to mom, for the last time. All the words had been said. All the rituals had been done. The tears had yet to run dry. Yet, it was time…*sigh*. Yes, it was time.

Walk away, now. Those steps were so hard. So hard. Reminds me of the steps I am taking now. A few more losses, to be walked through, to stand for, to lean heavily upon God’s Word, God’s CHARACTER and God’s Deep and Abiding Love, for me.

Last night, I cried. Nevertheless, I arose, today, hopeful for the future. Yes, I will grieve, today. However, I will remember all that these things, now lost, have brought to my life. I have grown much. I have loved much. I have lived quite a bit. Yet, all things really do come to an end. ALL things. Good and bad. Happy and sad.

It is easy to want to hang on, to hold on, to cling to people, places and things that have reached there end.

Walk away, beloved. Time to walk away. We were not meant to remain the same. We were not meant to hold on, forever, to past glories and defeats. We were meant to live, to thrive, to learn, to grow, to win, to learn, to endure. And, then, we were meant to move forward.

Walk away, NOW, beloved. Don’t wait. Remember the good times, reflect upon the tough ones and keep on moving forward.

Time to say goodbye, now….*sigh*.

Alas, I wanted to walk away, triumphant, having stood, and won over feelings of loss and sadness. However, I must keep it ‘100’ and admit that I feel as I did when I had to leave mom, that last time. KNOWING it was the last time….*sigh*. Words can not convey the sadness of leaving. KNOWING things would never be the same, knowing I would never be the same. I had no idea of who I would be. Just knew the me that I knew, she had to learn to stand, without mom, without her support, without her tummy to lay on when I was in need of some comfort.

I still catch myself with needing to leave her side. She is gone. Pain free. Yet, mine still remains. Walk away, I tell myself, on days when I want to go back to old things, old ways of thinking and being. Walk away, now. Mom would want you whole. She would never want you compensating and crooked. She would want you, standing, walking straight, leaning upon God’s Word, God’s CHARACTER, and God’s Deep and Abiding Love for me.

Another loss to prepare for, today. Nevertheless, I stand, I lean heavily upon God’s Shoulders. Tears slide silently down my cheeks as I steady myself to move forward. However, I do so with great joy and hope. I walk forward. I move forward. Nevertheless and However, I do not walk alone. Mom goes with me. God goes with me. Life goes with me. Those that I allow to support me go with me.

Walk away, now, God says. Everything has it’s season. Nevertheless, I go before thee to make thy way straight.

Walk away, NOW, Life says. Life was meant to be lived, moment by moment. It was never meant to be contained and hoarded. However, you wish to remain, in the past. The past is gone, beloved. Walk away, NOW. Live in the moment. Live in TODAY. Live, not survive.

WALK AWAY, NOW, I say through my tears. Stand, in THIS moment. Yes, this moment is hard. Yes, this moment hurts. But, it is so precious, so priceless to BE in this moment. No longer do I look ahead to see what this will be or if that one awaits me. I am content, living in this moment, even the letting go moment. I will miss this time. I will miss the relationships I must leave behind. I stand knowing that I am okay.

I’m okay, mom. I really am. I love you. With all my heart. I will see you again, mom. See your little girl, mom? She is trying, so very hard, to let you go and to fly free. I’m free, mom. I stand. I live. I thrive. I no longer survive, crooked and compensating. I have done the hard work, completed my physical therapy, and am making my way, straight.

As I walk away, I turn and wait for others to do the same…

Walk away, beloved. That relationship is done. That job is over. That situation has run it’s course. Time for you to move forward. Yes, it hurts to stand. Yes, it breaks the heart to leave behind precious things. Nevertheless, you can. However, you must. I walk with you.

walking and standing with you,

Jaybird

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