On my knees, again.

I find myself on my knees, again.

AGAIN!…*sigh*…

Staggering, to my feet, I try, Yet, again.

Again, I fail. Again, I find myself, on my knees.

AGAIN!

“Why do you ask me to try!?”

I asked this, of God. I asked this, of Life.

“Why do you ask me, to try, knowing that I will fail again!?”

In despair, I show God and Life, my newest failure. In anger, I toss it upon a growing pile.

Try again, God and Life, said to me.

Again, I try. Again, I fail. Again, I find myself, on my knees.

AGAIN!

In frustration, I show God and Life, my current failure. In defeat, I toss it upon the growing pile.

Try again, Life and God, said to me.

Again, I try. Again, I fail. Again, I find myself, on my knees.

AGAIN!

In tears, I show God and Life, my utter failure. Finally, hopeless, I toss it upon the growing pile.

Still on my knees, I crawl, slowly, helplessly, tiredly to the endless pile of…no idea what these things be.

Looking upon my endless pile of nothingness, I feel as nothing.

Feeling as nothing, I stay on my knees, despairing, defeated, hopeless and angry.

Look again, God and Life, said to me.

Turning, I saw pile upon pile of diamonds, rubies and gold.

Look closer still, God and Life, said to me.

Looking closer, I saw that each and every priceless gem contained all my effort, all my tears, all my hopes, all my dreams, in each effort, in every defeat.

Every blow that threw me, to my knees, produced a stone. Combined with my efforts, with my tears, those stones were pressed, were refined, were purified and turned into the priceless gems strewn before me.

They were everywhere. THEY WERE EVERYWHERE!

On my knees, still, I watched as God and Life began to pick up the priceless treasure I had made, while on my knees. God and Life began to distribute those priceless gems, to those in need. They began, with me.

God and Life handed me handfuls of love, basket fulls of care. All made, while on my knees. These gems began to fill me, strengthened me. They helped me, to rise, to my feet.

And, in rising, I began to help God and Life, to distribute the jewels that were born from the time, on my knees.

I find myself on my knees, again. This time, in thanksgiving. Again, while on my knees, I see another stone being formed. This time, I laugh while seeming to fail. Joyfully, lovingly I add the new stone to a newly forming pile.

When you find yourself, on your knees, don’t despair. Rejoice. For, your EFFORTS, your LOVE, and your CARE are forming priceless gems that will sustain, first you, then others. God and Life will use them to change lives, starting with your own.

on my knees with you,

Cassandra

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