It’s time. Time to get up and start living. Life has bopped you upside the head more times than you can count. Disappointment has laughed at you, mercilessly. Rejection has haunted you. Your goals have all taunted you and keep saying ‘nah, nah, you can’t catch me’. You are sick of it. Dammit, you are sick of this!!
Good. Great. Now that you are tired of going around in endless circles, it’s time for you to LIVE. You are not your past. You are not those things that you have gone through. You are NOT your worst mistakes. You are not even your best successes. You are all those things and much more.
EVERYTHING you have gone through has helped shape who you are now. That can be a good thing or a bad thing. It’s up to you. See, we tend to use our life experiences, the experiences of others, the expectations of others to shape the way we see ourselves.
Then, we take that often WRONG perception and live up to or down to those perceptions. We don’t go for that job as we don’t have a degree or enough time in. We don’t know the right people. We don’t look the right way. We don’t run in the right circles.
We don’t reach out for love because we are too fat, too old, too ugly, too pretty, too poor, have too much money so folk can’t see us.
We don’t let on that we are lonely, sad, grieving, afraid as we have to keep hiding behind our masks. We don’t want folk to know that we are not okay, that we have not been okay for quite some time.
We go through the day, silent screaming inside to be seen, to be loved, to be accepted. Just for us. Dammit, why can’t/won’t you see me!? See me!!!!!!
So, we end up entering into a silent pact with life: we promise life we will hide behind a mask and work hard and be giving and loving people, so long as life will leave us be and STOP TORMENTING ME WITH THINGS I WILL NEVER HAVE.
It hurts. It hurts. Not having hurts. Not being loved hurts. Not being seen hurts. We grow tired of hurting. Tired of being unloved. Tired of being alone.
Dammit, God, I am tired!!!!….huh?….what’s that?
It seems that God has heard our silent screams. He lets us know that He is there. That He DOES care. He knows we are hurting. Knows that we rage, deep inside, where only He can see. He calls to us, quietly, to rise. Rise from that anger. Rise from that fear. Rise and let that fire burn away the darkness.
Life is short. It’s time to rise. Your life is sooooooooooooo very worthy of love and all of life’s good things. You don’t have to hide. There ARE folks who will gladly and joyfully love you for y0urself.
It’s time. Time for YOU to rise. It’s okay that you have been afraid. It’s okay that you have not been okay. It’s okay that you don’t know how to reach out for love. It’s the beginning that counts. All you have to to is to turn on the light, rise from your bed. Get on up. You can do this. You can.
I can not tell you how many days I had to talk myself from beneath the covers. I wanted to use mom’s death and the grief that came with it to hide away forever. Mom wouldn’t want that. God didn’t want that. My heart really didn’t want that. So, one day, I talked myself in turning on the light. Lay on my back, in bed still. Afraid still. Yet, I had made the first step. I turned on the light.
Ah! The light. Felt a tiny flicker, inside my heart. One small ember of hope that maybe, just maybe, I could get out from under the darkness. I had no idea how I could live and breathe on this earth with my mom gone. She meant everything to me. How can one go on without their everything?!
I don’t know what the ‘everything’ in your life is. I don’t know that thing, person, situation that you lost forever. I don’t know what keeps you in your bed, in the darkness. Afraid to rise. Afraid to live. No longer knowing how to.
Yet, I KNOW, of a certainty, that you CAN rise. It’s hard but you can. A choice that only YOU can make. I write these words in earnest as there are so very many folks who are walking around, afraid to rise and live. They walk around in a prison only they and God can see.
God sees you and wants you free. He calls to you, today. Tells you to rise. You can do this. You can! Begin by turning on the light. Then, roll over and sit up on the side of the bed. Allow yourself the space and time to try. You may be too afraid and will dive back under the covers. That’s okay. Try again tomorrow. Turn on the light. Sit on the edge of the bed, take a breath and rise.
And, once risen, let your spark of life become a raging fire that will consume all your darkness. And, once in the light, please go and get someone who is in there bed and call them to rise. Encourage them. Let them know they are NOT alone. Let them know they can do it.
YOU can do it. Yes, you. If your eyes are reading these words, they were meant for you. You have never been seen/loved/valued the way your precious and priceless soul deserves to be loved.
You are not alone. You will be free. God will help you rise. You can do this. God loves you. I cheer for you as you make your way towards turning on the light, sitting on the side of the bed and rising up to live.
Life is hard but so worth living. Even the hard days. Keep going. I pray for you as you go. I sit with you as you find the strength to rise. You got this.
We all we got, but we all we need.
praying peace/love/blessings for every heart and every man, woman and child,